My baby’s father and I have had a very rocky relationship. He is emotionally abusive but I have tried to make things work for the sake of our family unit - but it’s just not worked and I can’t bear to be around him anymore. I think he is deeply unkind and selfish and I don’t want my son to grow up seeing him treat me badly.
We broke up when I was pregnant and I moved in with my parents who live four hours away. He makes the journey every weekend to see his son. He stays at my parents with me. My family are very welcoming to him as they are keen to help him enjoy and bond with his son.
Our son is 4 months now and during this period we have been on/off. Because he comes and stays with us for the whole weekend it has been hard for us both to move on. We slip into old ways. Our baby is EBF too so I can’t really go out for the day while he is here.
I feel I can no longer have him stay at my parents. My flat is sitting empty, a ten minute drive away so he’s welcome to stay there and pop round for a few hours to see his son.
I have told him this before but he says he doesn’t want to see our son at my parents as it’s a “hostile” environment (this is absolutely untrue) and instead wants me to take our son to the flat. I don’t want to do this as it means I will be alone with him without anyone to stop him from being horrible to him. However, I also don’t want to leave our son with him alone, we tried it a month ago and after 24 mins he called me and said he needs help as he didn’t know how to settle the baby. I feel it is in everyone’s best interests that he sees our son at my parents house because it is a neutral place for everyone - however he has said he is going to get lawyers involved and fight this.
Please advise me what you would do in my situation and how long I should/can allow him to visit at weekends. I don’t want to be around him but I also want him to have lots of good quality time with his son as I would hate our baby to grow up having a poor relationship with his dad.