Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Baby happy to go off without me!

30 replies

ShleepyMumma · 15/03/2022 15:44

Not really wanting to change this- just wondered if anyone else had noticed this with their child, particularly bottle feeding Mumas perhaps?
During a weekly baby class my 10m old will happily crawl away from me, explore, go over to other people etc. I’ve noticed other babies don’t do this. Granted some can’t crawl or move yet but the ones who can crawl, tend to stay next to their Mums or very close by. These babies are also breastfed. Just makes me feel a bit 😒 sometimes, like she’s not really fussed who I am and wouldn’t notice if I moved out and someone else moved in!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PermanentlyTired03 · 15/03/2022 15:47

I guarantee the second your baby feels a bit ill, they'll come to you for cuddles! Embrace it- I wish my baby was happy with other adults! And think of it as they are confident enough to go away as they know you'll always be there when they look back

BeautifulBirds · 15/03/2022 15:52

My little girl was breastfeed and has always been like this. It's great for going to nursery or being left with family. I can leave without guilt or upset, I don't have to peel her from round my neck. She is so confident. It's a good thing!!

thingymaboob · 15/03/2022 15:57

Read about attachment types. Sounds like your DC is securely attached to you which gives them confidence they could return to you and be there. Sounds healthy and normal.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9-12 months old Babies & sleep Families General parenting

Clymene · 15/03/2022 15:59

They go through phases. Be grateful that she's feeling secure enough to go off and come back again.

ComDummings · 15/03/2022 16:01

I don’t think it’s a breastfeed/bottle feed thing, it’s a personality thing.

Bonbon21 · 15/03/2022 16:01

She knows exactly who you are.
She knows exactly where she left you.
She knows you will be exactly there when she wants you.
Happy, confident, trusting, outgoing... you are doing a great job!

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/03/2022 16:07

As soon as my DD could walk (around her first birthday so a bit older than yours), she would rush into nursery without a backwards glance. Obviously I don’t want her to be crying, clinging to my leg, but a goodbye wouldn’t hurt!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/03/2022 16:09

Both of my children were like your daughter, and they are now confident, self-assured adults. Be glad, he confidence is 100% a good thing.

BertieBotts · 15/03/2022 16:10

DS2 would do this and he was breastfed. DS1 would never. DS2 was unusually independent/confident. He still is, aged 3. It's great because he goes off and plays by himself!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/03/2022 16:11

To add to my post above... Both of my children were breastfed, so that or bottle feeding has nothing to do with it.

Pinkflipflop85 · 15/03/2022 16:19

Breastfed both of mine.

Both fiercely independent.

MangoBiscuit · 15/03/2022 16:24

DD1 went only bottles fully, much earlier than DD2. DD1 was fairly confident as a toddler. DD2 was, and still is, a bloody force of nature.

I think it's more a personality thing, but also influenced some by how securely attached they are. So sounds like you're doing a good job OP.

KatherineofGaunt · 15/03/2022 16:27

My DS was breastfed but he was off as soon as he could! He's always been happy being left with people and will sit and chat to anyone, no matter it's the park or supermarket or wherever! It's definitely not personal, OP!

Mossstitch · 15/03/2022 16:48

Three breastfed to same amount of time (just under one) in that situation only one of them would stay close to me, he just had/has a more anxious/sensitive personality. Its not a bottle fed thing💐

EmmaGrundyForPM · 15/03/2022 16:53

DS1 was on a bottle from 3 months. He was an anxious, clingy child.

DS2 was totally breastfed, went off as soon as he could move - anywhere that looked interesting or exciting, off he'd go. Never cried when he went to playgroup, school etc.
Make the most of it, it was a nightmare trying to get ds1 settled into playgroup, school etc

schnubbins · 15/03/2022 17:01

We moved to the U.S. when my son was three. In the space of a week he moved continents, houses , changed languages and started Kindergarten .I was a little worried about him but five minutes after bringing him in and introducing him to his teacher he turned around and said ' you can go now mum , I will be fine on my own' He is a young man now and is confident and outgoing but still comes to me when he needs help.He was breast fed but really don't think either that it is a breast or bottle fed thing .It's just their personalities

Bornsloppy · 15/03/2022 18:24

Neither of mine gave a toss about me once they got on the move - better things to do, like look at plug sockets and steal dummies from non mobile babies.

Annoyingly can't even go for a wee without the 3yo following me round now.

Somethingsnappy · 15/03/2022 18:24

@thingymaboob

Read about attachment types. Sounds like your DC is securely attached to you which gives them confidence they could return to you and be there. Sounds healthy and normal.

Yes, absolutely. And personality and confidence also come into it. I have 4 children OP, all breastfed until 2 years old. Two were like your baby and two were more like the other babies at the group. Nothing to do with feeding method

. Also, it can depend on how familiar the babies are with the place. If they're quite new, they may prefer to stay close to mum (but definitely not always), but as the surroundings become more familiar to them, they'll start to branch out. It's good your baby is so confident! She has got that from the security of your love and care.

Ragwort · 15/03/2022 18:31

My DS was exactly the same - I could leave him with anyone - would happily go off with anyone/go anywhere.... never forget a holiday in France when he happily linked hands with a complete stranger and wandered round a market ! He never minded about being left in an unfamiliar crèche/holiday club/new babysitters etc. He was mix fed so no correlation between breast/bottle feeding.

He's now early 20s, very confident, happily takes any sort of job to earn money (set up his own business during lockdown!), he's at Uni but easily makes friends, not just amongst students but happily joins community groups, sports clubs etc etc.

Be proud .

cigarettesNalcohol · 15/03/2022 18:31

Don't be silly op! Be more confident, your baby is showing early signs of a healthy curiosity for life and clearly feels safe and loved enough to leave your side for a bit and go wondering off to explore all the amazing things we adults have stopped noticing. It's a good thing!

Original poster

ShleepyMumma · 15/03/2022 19:18

Thanks every one for your comments. Feel a lot better. Seems to be a theme that feeding method has nothing to do with it- that must just be my insecurity!

OP posts:

Fernsinthegarden · 15/03/2022 19:25

Oh I get it OP, there’s always a bit of sadness the more independent they get because it means they need you a little less as time goes on. Your baby will always need you but just in different ways! You have clearly done a wonderful job in raising a confident, happy baby!
To add my own experiences, two breastfed babies, both pretty confident to disappear off (no2 is crawling so obviously she doesn’t go far!) I definitely had my own wobbles over this and probably will continue to do so as they get older!

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2022 19:33

I chose to believe it was very secure attachment which meant she knew I loved her wherever she was.

In truth, now at 11 mithering me to go to Pizza Hut with her mates, she's just independent and fearless.

I'm a bag of nerves.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2022 19:33

And she was BF until 14 months!

elliejjtiny · 15/03/2022 19:38

My ds1 was like this and he was breastfeeding. I used to feel sad that he wasn't bothered but then ds2 was the opposite and had to be peeled off my leg every morning in reception class and once in year 4 and that was worse.

Flip

1 2