Really need help with my patience and nearly 2yo!

[st1cky]

My DC is 21mo and has lots of single words (I counted up to nearly 100 before giving up!) and can join the odd two words together sometimes, so is able to communicate needs in a basic way.

I'm a single mum and have not had more than 2 hours away from my DC (and even that has been on only 3 occasions) since they were born, so tbh I really do think I am burned out and struggling with patience anyway. I also have a lot of stressful events to manage at the moment.

Basically I'm finding myself losing my patience with DC's constant 'mama'. Honestly, they say it 15 times before I have chance to respond, I must hear it 1,000 times a day. It goes like this:

"Mama? Mama?"

"Yes DC?"

"Mama?"

"Yes darling? What is it?"

"Mama, digger."

"Oh wow, yes, a digger."

"Mama? Mama? Mama?"

"Yes DC, what would you like?"

"Mama, digger."

"I know yes, a big yellow digger, look at that!"

"Mama?"

"Yes darling?"

"Mama?"

"What is it darling?"

Ad infinitum. I know I know I know that it's normal. DC sometimes is trying to get my attention, sometimes express a need and other times I have no idea why they need me! But how can I manage my patience? I feel like I'm constantly being shouted at and I'm really overwhelmed as it is, so the total lack of thinking space is tough. I'm close to shouting at DC and it's not fair. I am incapable of tuning it out my blood pressure just keeps on rising

How best can I handle this? Is there a way I can minimise this, or will it improve as DC's communication improves? I am so close to going "WHAT!!!!!" and have been snappy lately. Am just burned out and it's making my days more difficult!

Help!

Hopeful bump

You can’t manage this out of him. As you say, it’s completely normal and it will get better as he gets older. If you are at the end of your rope (and I would understand if you are) you need to try and find a way of getting some space as that’s the fundamental issue here. I assume you are at home with him from your description of only 2h apart from him here and there? Do you have any family who’d take him? Do finances stretch to a couple of mornings in childcare?

Or can you even just schedule a few “breaks” into the day, thats what I try to do with my 18m old, I appreciate this is a different stage of development, but on my days with him I know that however relentless he seems at 8am, at 10am say I will go to a class where I will speak to adults, after his nap I will go for a walk with him facing forward and one earplug in listening to a podcast… in the evening I plan what I will watch or read so I am trying to fit some more adult conversation in/ follow my own interests as well?
But this really is a phase - my 3.5 yr old has a lot of why questions but can also entertain herself for a lot longer without needing my attention.

Oh dear, DD is 3 and I still get the 'Mummy, mummy, mummy' sometimes It does get better, although then you get into the 'Why' or my DD is currently in the 'Who got me that?' phase about really random household objects. 'Who got me that spoon? Who got me that pencil?'
You just have to sort of let it roll off you as best you can!

I found this website (and the book) very useful for this kind of thing… basically a mindfulness approach…
www.ahaparenting.com/read/handling-anger