books about helping or raising boys

[littleboo]

Hi
am wondering if anyone has experience of these type of books and if they are woth having a read. DS! is a troubled 8 year old i think and wondered if any recommended books might just help me help him. Anyone ?

Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys has some interesting points.
Didn't agree with some bits of it though.

What do you think is the matter with him . I have an 8 yr old DS

thanks artic. Paros - well he just seems to be down a lot of the time, very grumpy, very moody and sulky, and somehow feels more than the normal kids moodiness. I have 3 lo's, DD1 12, ds1 8 and ds2 3, so he is also the middle child. I had pnd which was not picked up until he was 1 yr old, so can't help wondering if it could have been something to do with that. Any ideas i would be really grateful for. Is Your DS at all like that??

i saw the raising boys book in elc the other day reduced to £7.looked good but i just flicked through.might be worth look on ebay or even libary.

My Ds can be like that . Alot I put down to him being hungry or tired . When he was on school dinners he came out of school horrible and I mean miserable . I cahnged to packed lunch and he turned completely the other way . I then tried the no shouting thing and only speaking in a calm voice .I wanted to feel in control. It worked for 3 days PMT LOL but I was impressed with results . I seriously do not think the PND has anything to do with it . I think this is just you feeling guilty for something that wasnt your fault at all (how can it be ). Seriously this is just an 8yr old boy thing . Just stay calm do not react with anger to his anger . Try speaking to him with out trying to give him answers ie say Oh or um or I see and he will speak after a while . Watch what games he is playing or TV he is watching this can change moods dramitically if the thing ers on the side of aggression . I truley believe boys are like dogs and need plenty of fresh air ,good food and lots of playing while girls are like cats . The moodiness and sulking is totally normal I promise you . I have been a nanny for 24 years and this is normal . Just keep listining and try and make him feel special and loads and I mean loads (well he is male LOL ) of praise . They thrive on this . Best of luck .

thanks paros, will try some of that out

I agree the book raising boys. I didnt agree with all but has some very good advice and on the whole very good

I got the Steve Biddulph book for Xmas and it raises some v.interesting points.

Worth a read

I have a friend with two sons (9 and 11) and he swears by giving them a high protein breakfast! He says he knows it sounds daft but he and his wife saw a huge improvement in their boys' behaviour and enjoyment of life after they started giving them meat or eggs for breakfast.

I thought it was a good book but there was a small amount I didnt agree with . They do say at this age they need a male person in their lives dosnt have to be a dad but a good male role model . (I love it because I get more time on here LOL , )

Jenni Murray wrote one called That's My Boy (I think) which is good - not much help for littlies but more useful for older kids (your son's age and upwards) I think.

Funny that but I often give him sausage and eggs for breakfast. (yes I must be mad cooking eggs at 6.3o in the morning )

ok, so perhaps worth giving the eggs or meat a go. In fact would really try anything.
He does seem really down. He plays for a football team and even his coach has remarked on how moody he can be. It may just be in his makeup, but I don't want to find i've missed something. Have tried to talk to him and he says nothing is wrong, thought about school, bullying etc, but doesn't seem to be. I did go into school last term to ask his teacher if he saw any of this in school and he said no, which helps a little.
he does love his play station but during school time we have limited that to just at weekends cos I did find it seemed to make him aggressive ( not a lot, but noticeable)
I just love him so much that I don't want to let him down, but there are times when I just can't cope with him anymore and then don't like him .

Well believe me . Ilove mine to death but sometimes I dont like his behaviour . Seriously this just means your a good mum and care about your sons well being ,he couldnt ask for a better mum . I let mine play the psp in the car because its a 45 min journey to school but he only has a golf ,driving,and a football game for it . Also I think you have to take hormones in the equation and testostrone (sp) into account . Keep trying you will get there in the end .

I do wish you all the best with this. My DS is only 3.9 so I have all this to come. I wonder if it would help to talk to your DS about ways to manage his moods - reassuring him that everyone has times when they feel bad, helping him to work out ways to lift his spirits, etc.

May be you could instead of keep asking him how hes feeling he could tell you in a colour ie red for angry blue for sad yellow for good and green for not sure . I know it sounds a bit phsyco babble but it might be worth a try . Something I gave my son was a special stone that comes in a tin (small) and I put it under his pillow to tell his worries too .Especially at night if anything is bothering him and by the morning all the worries will be gone .

Thanks bluestocking and paros, the colour things sounds worth a go. You're right, it just feels as if I'm nagging him when I'm saying - are you ok, is there anything wrong. We did get him some of those worry dolls ( his older sister wanted some, but they seem to have got lost in the flurry of being a boy. yes hormones, suppose its harder ( not being a boy myself) to imagine what he might be feeling. DH thinks also " just being 8" but its me thats having the problems with it.
Will also try to talk about managing moods, thats interesting .
So now armed with the SB book from library will do some reading as well
Thanks everyone for advice