Single parent, father won't see kids

[mumofboysnot1but2]

Hi, I separated from my ex of 15 years just over 12 months ago. The relationship became volatile and I had to get out due to what accusations he was making towards me.
Since the split I have had to get police involved because of constant harassment.
Since Christmas he has not seen 2 of our children but has continued to see the eldest.
I have text him and his parents and had no reply. Until today he rang me to tell me to stop asking him to see the kids and to stop messaging his parents. He took great pleasure in telling me that he was seeing someone, which I'm glad of it gives me a break!
I cry every night that he doesn't want a relationship with the kids. It kills me that he wouldn't want to spend time with what should be th most precious things in his life.
I suppose I just want to know I'm not alone and that my kids will be alright. I know they deserve so much more and are worth 100 times what he is.

Don't break your heart over it. Your kids will be ok as long as they've got you. My DS2 didnt have a dad either but we managed and he's a devoted father to his own DC now. Your ex will be the loser.

Thank you for your reply. I know that it's him that's missing out. I just can't help feeling tremendous guilt that had I have stayed in the Relationship the kids would still have their dad.

My ex hasn’t seen our kids since jan 2021, he doesn’t want to. You’re definitely not alone, before that he never had them over night or by himself and we’ve been split for 5 years

Your children are better off without this complete and utter arsehole in their lives.

I very much regret not simply letting my ex vanish out of dds life when she was young enough to forget him.

It was clear he wasn't interested but thinking I was doing right by dd I pushed to maintain contact even paying for and doing all the travelling for several years to the tune of £1000's

Then when she hit high school stage he simply didn't bother at all!

This was much harder for dd to deal with at that age than it would have been when she was a pre schooler

Don't force contact.

Why are you letting him see the eldest? A division between the dc is very unhealthy imo

My dd and ex are back in touch now but he expected to just pick up where he left off and has MASSIVELY ignored the hurt and damage he caused and of course blames me! Luckily I have proof otherwise if dd ever wants to see it - she hasn't yet, she's 21 now