I'm not coping - anyone else?

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

2 kids, 3.5 and 18 months. Currently sat on the loo hearing the 2 of them screaming while being looked after by their dad. 3.5 year old is permanently overtired. Wakes at 5am and is an emotional disaster all day.

I'm not given a minute. Ever. DH works stupid hours. Our communication is at rock bottom. I actually feel like I hate him.

My nerves are shot. I live from child breakdown to child breakdown. I'm so miserable.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes yes but not all the time. Sounds like you need a break. Is there anyone to take them? You said communication is not happening but he’s also not psychic- what would happen if you told him you need a break? Can you leave the kids with him and explain if you don’t get out for a few hours you will break?

Yes, I have done and I think lots do but we don’t say it enough. I felt like that a lot when mine were your age (I’m two years on now and I promise it gets easier). My eldest is autistic (and she’s also the most wonderful brilliant kid) but even with that added complication it’s got better.

I hear you re. Husband. That too will hopefully get better.

You need a break basically - are one/both in childcare at all?

But essentially two kids, that age gap, it’s fucking hard. Way way way harder than it was with one kid. Exponentially harder.

It’s not you, you’re not failing, you’re doing a great job.

Keep going, breathe, try and get a break somehow if you can.

Break from the kids is unlikely. In laws moved 500 miles away. My mum is suicidal and on strong anti psych drugs. Our godparents who have babysat in the past are usually around but godfather has just been diagnosed with cancer.

I feel like I'm grinding to a halt.

We have a nanny for the days a week I work but it's term time only as I'm a teacher.

Does your husband work crazy hours in a well paid job? Can you afford the nanny to do more so you can have a regular break?

Teaching is stressful too (speak from experience) and you have a lot on your plate. If you can afford just a extra day / half day so you can breathe a bit it will be worth it.

Yes but a single parent so completely alone, kids have been arguing all day long

@AHungryCaterpillar that sounds really rough