I have 7 chilren some still very small and have been through most trials

[saff]

although i am sure there will be more i have had 6 very different labours had 2 miscarrages and have a foster child (no7) i am sure i still have lots to learn as each child is new and unique but if i can give any wisdom that i have gained along the way i would love to help xx

it does look awful
Before I shaved it she had no hair all over one side of her head and then down to her shouder and with gentle curls at the end on the other side

cutting off her curls was really painful for me

then we shaved it and I kept getting sympathetic looks from strangers as she looked like a cancer victim and I felt guilty

now it is nearly a coupe of inchs long but totally bald all over one side

she looks like noone is taking care of her

you didn't ramble on isthereanybodyoutthere

its very nice to hear I'm not the only one to feel a little intimidated by the docs sometimes

I am very pale and bruise like an overipe peach and dd1 and 2 are the same

I have been asked by the nursery once before if dd2 was ok as 'she seems to get alot of bruises'

Trinity I've heard of this too, and I'm pretty sure its not because you have emotionally damaged your dd! If nothing else you need a bit of support to help her so take a deep breath, look your gp in the face and say you need help, and your dd needs help and if s/he can't give it then s/he needs to refer you onto someone who will.

Trinity, my dd1 did exactly the same thing after my dd2 was born, dd1 has shoulder length hair in a bob, and in the first few weeks after dd2 was born I noticed one side of her head was almost bald, some of the hairs she pulled, others broke off near the root because she twists the hair round and round her finger, sometimes getting her finger stuck!

The only thing that has helped is by putting her in a top with the sleeve holes sewn up for bed, I know it sounds really cruel, but its really worked, she cant twist, and now her hair is thickening up nicely and the thin side is no longer noticable, she calls it her bedtime top, if you buy one thats a few sizes too big it wont be uncomfortable for her, obviously this will only help at night, but I have found thats when my dd did the most damage.

that is an idea I have never thought of
thanks lanismum

I'll let everyone know what happens when I go to the doc

Thanks guys

its no way your fault she will maybe be referred to somenoe who can help they wont think you are a bad mum they will see a mum that loves her dd very much and wants to sort it out. when my dd was small before she was diagnosed with epilepsy i spent 6mths in and out of hospital while they did tests i rember over hearing a nurse say yes only seems to happen when mum is with her i just wanted to die.

nobodysfool - you say you eat with him. do you try and encourage him to eat or just leave him to get on with it?i find my ds eats better if i go out the room, ignore him and leave him to eat.

Tried encouraging and leaving now i dont make any comments apart from when i put the food on the table.If you try and encorage him he gets really annoyed.

have you tried going out of the room and leaving him with his food. i find that's when ds is most likely to try what i have given him.

also i find offering bits of yoghurt in between helps encourage him to eat a bit more. i say have 2 spoons of yoghurt and then try a bit of your dinner. now i just give him his dinner and dessert at the same time and he picks at both.

I have a doctors app on wednesday

fingers crossed that it wont leaving me feeling worse

hope he is able to help trinity, I know how upsetting it is to see your little girl bald while all the others seem to have hair from a timotei ad!

NMC- haven't gotten DS1 out my bed yet!!!!!!

Just wondering how you got on at the docs Trinity?

hi all
Well I dont feel any worse after going to the docs
He said that he really doesn't feel that she is going to damage her follicles.
He then said than as we have tried shaving her and it didn't seem to help and also we have tried telling her not to do it then its time for a different approach
although she doesn't seem to be doing it to get attention she seems to be doing it for comfort he recons that telling her not to do it is probably not a good idea.
We are going to to try ,for 6 months, to just let her get on with it.
He feels that there is no worry about her making herself permanantly bald from damaging the follicles so lets just leave her and not draw ANY attention to it at all

Also try to make her feel as secure and settled as possible as her age means that her life feels pretty hectic and she is emotionally changing so much and probably feels a little overwhelmed by life in general.

I'm managing to not tell her not to do it or anything. I agree with trying this approach yet I dont really understand how it can work
She doesn't do it to gain my attention so why is she going to stop doing it if we ignore it???

I'm willing to try it and in the meantime (as every day at the mo the bald patch is getting bigger) I will get her some nice hats and stretchy hairbands.
She can wear them if she wants, no pressure.

It looks awful

Dressing up costume everyday which includes a wig - would she twirl the wig rather than her own hair?

I reckon it'll work Trinity.
I don't feel anything I said or did made any difference to dds hair-pulling, it was a phase that she grew out of.
I think I would carry on trying to distract with other twiddly things though, or is that not possible without drawing attention to it?
Not sure.....good luck and keep us posted!