Have I created a bad habit??

[mn97x]

DS is 11weeks old

He has always contact napped but then slept in cot of a night so I didn’t mind the napping on someone! If we’re out he will sleep in pram or car seat (for short period of time before I lay him flat)

However since we’ve tried a slight bedtime routine the past few days (bath bottle, bed) he’s wanted to sleep on me in the night too and wouldn’t settle in his cot

I’m hoping it’s a short phase but I’m really worried now that he won’t go in his cot ever and I’m sorry if I sound dramatic I’m just exhausted

Am I just panicking over nothing??

You haven't created a bad habit. At that age, their sleep patterns change regularly. Do you feel safe co-sleeping, lying down? Is Dad around? Will he go in the cot for him, even if only for part of the night?

I have always done whatever means we both get the most sleep. DS is almost 6 now. We co-slept for just over 2 years, and with my DD too. When we were both ready, we changed it a bit. Even now he sometimes wants to sleep with me. Absolutely fine. I just move him back once he is asleep.

You can't create bad habits at that age. Do what feels right for YOU and DS, and enjoy the baby snuggles it's when they start wriggling and doing bed gymnastics that it gets a bit more uncomfortable.

You're about to learn the biggest parenting lesson. Things are constantly shifting! You almost never go back, after a leap/cold/teething/weaning etc things move on in different ways and I found very little linked to what we did or didn't do. You've been spoilt having a cot sleeper. That never lasts!

As PP says it's not forever and I tend to find it was after the 4 month leap we could make the most headway in terms of bothering with a bedtime routine. Until then baby just slept whenever, wherever and however (within the SIDS guidelines).

I’ve tried the safe co sleeping method but he cries as soon as I put him down to do it he’ll only be calm when held or on someones chest :(

I do love the snuggles but we’re getting very exhausted (DH does help but he is the same with him only wants to be held) and I’m worried that I’ll fall asleep with him on me

Our daughter needed to be held to sleep night and day for around four months but she ended up just gradually being able to do longer and longer on her back. I wouldn't worry about creating bad habits this early and just go with the flow meeting their needs at the time. Me and DP slept in shifts so we were both getting solid sleep so that we didn't fall asleep holding her. I slept 7-2 and he stayed up until 2 and went to bed until 8. We didn't see each other for about 5 months but we all slept and we're planning to do the same with our next! It will get better op x

Simple bedtime routines help even at a very young age, for example a warm bath, jammies on and then held while all the curtains are closed and the lights turned down. A dark room is very important (maybe with a night light). Start giving your baby lots of sleep cues, and the routine should be no longer than 30 minutes, don't start playing with them and getting them stimulated. You need to be quiet (and boring) so your baby starts automatically feeling tired. I'd play gentle guitar music to them and soon just hearing the music would make my kids sleepy. I would put it on in the car and they would start yelling "not the music!" "Not the music!" And two minutes later all three of them would be snoring

I assume you will have tried to gently shuffle him off you so he's lying next to you, perhaps with an arm or hand on him still so he still feels the warmth? A lot easier said than done, 9 times out of 10, I know.

My son contact napped at least once a day (mainly in the day, but occasionally from 5am onwards) until he was about 3 months. He totally weaned himself off contact naps by 6 months. He might entertain the idea now if I push it, but I think our last nap like that has been and gone. Bittersweet, really.

I have a friend who's daughter exclusively contact napped for the first 3 months, and then at night at around 4 months she would have to hold her a lot due to the regression phase. It didn't last long; a few months later she just refused to contact nap at all, and loved her crib instead.

Just a few examples where it hadn't automatically meant crib/non contact nap refusal.

All babies are different, don't panic about 'a rod for your back' and just see how he goes. Maybe keep trying to practice shuffling him off when it's convenient through the day (so if it messes a nap up then it's not going to ruin an outing or something by him being overtired) if you like, or increasing the number of naps in the pram through the day for a bit, weather permitting.

At 11 weeks everything keeps changing. Its gradually work on getting him to sleep alone. It's cute when they are wee but gets trickier and more inconvenient as they get older. If you decide to have more it's even more so!