Should I go through with a termination if I'm having doubts?

[Anonymouslyposting1996]

I found out I was pregnant very unexpectedly, and when I told the father he said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. For the past 2 weeks I've been weighing up all my options, and recently came to the conclusion that I think It would be easier and better for everyone if I had a termination. As the day of my termination gets closer im having more and more doubts, so here's my question. Should I have the termination if I'm having second thoughts about?
Some background im 7 weeks, im 25 with a full time job and my own 1 bedroom apartment. The dad is 29 with no wishes or wants to be a dad ever.

No, do not do it if you arnt 100% sure it’s what you want, it’s irrelevant what anyone else wants, it’s about you, your body/pregnancy and what you want. I advise talking it through with the abortion counselling people and put off the procedure until you are totally sure it’s what you want, you are only 7 weeks so I’d take your time and work out what’s best for you

I think It would be easier and better for everyone if I had a termination.

This is the wrong reason. What do you want?

Sorry to hear you are in this position, sounds very hard. How do you feel when you imagine yourself with a baby?

I think you have to weigh everything up.

Parenting alone is HARD. It would be the hardest thing you've ever done. I am 35 years old with two kids and I have my husband but I find parenting hard when he's working in the week. Mine are 2years and 8months. It puts a massive strain on the relationship. My eldest was a breeze, my second is a different story with multiple allergies and it's really rough. I know everything is a phase.

You lose yourself when you have kids! 100%.

You should think about your friends. Do they have kids? It helps if they do as you have a common ground.

You will never know what decision is the right one. But, whatever decision you make, it's the right decision for NOW. If you were 35 years old and contemplating this decision, it would be a different outcome probably.

I am a realist. We shouldn't always have kids just because we are pregnant. There are so many factors to consider.

Write everything down - pros and cons. Sounds silly but it might help!

OP, if you’re having doubts perhaps now is the time to really spend some time working out what life would look like for you as a single parent. And then you can make your decision with your eyes open as it were. How long would you be able to take off as maternity leave? How stable is your housing? Are you renting or do you own your apartment? If you rent is there an chance your landlord could give you notice because they want to sell up etc? What happens in a couple of years when you perhaps would want a separate room for your baby? Could you afford a 2 bed place?
What access would you have to childcare? Would you get some financial help (tax free childcare, universal credit etc). Do you have family who would be supportive and help you on occasion?
Is there anyone who could come and help you regularly for the first month or two? Newborn sleep patterns are something else it really helps being able to have someone come and hold the baby while you shower/nap/make a sandwich and a cup of tea and then eat it.
At 25, you have lots of time to meet someone and have children in a 2 parent set-up of that’s what you’d prefer. If you have this baby then you can still meet someone and have children later, but the dynamics will be a little different and likely a bit more complicated.
Good luck OP. There isn’t a right or wrong decision here, just two different paths your life could take.

Have you had any counselling? Is any available to you? It really sounds as though you need to talk this through with someone.

At 25 you're still so young but don't let this deter you if you want to keep baby. Do your friends or family know?

I don't think we can give you the answer, OP. You need some proper counselling to help you work out what is best for you. That is all that matters.

Do the sums, figure out what support you have. How much mat leave can you get? Will you be able to afford your rent? To heat the house? To feed and clothe and equip your baby? What will you do if your baby gets ill when you go back to work? How will you cope with birth injuries, sleepless nights or a child with a disability?

Accidental conception isn't a gift from the gods, it's contraception failing.

Single parenting is hard. I am a single parent. I love it but I earn a decent wage and had tons of family support when my children were small. At your age I wouldn't have done very well at all

Don’t do it if it’s not what YOU want.

You have options (including adoption if you don’t want to raise the child - people barely mention this one these days, but it does still exist). But whatever you choose needs to be what you want to do - the father is pretty irrelevant especially since he has no interest.
I recommend talking them through with pregnancy counselling.

No, you shouldn't go through with anything that you're not 100% on board with, especially something like this. It has to be what YOU want to do, and you have to be certain.