I previously wrote a thread regarding my abusive ex causing a lot of problems during my pregnancy and this lead to police being involved and me and my daughter (from previous relationship) having to flee the property I owned with him.
This lead to social services being involved and they were happy that both me and my daughter had left. I was pregnant at the time with his baby and social services have made it clear he is not to have access and he needs to get access through the courts if he wants any involvement.
Since she has been born, I did the right thing and made him aware of her birth but explained SS we’re involved and I would contact them, he was very abusive over messages and started telling everyone I was refusing access.
I then ended up bumping into him with our baby who he still hasn’t met and he didn’t even attempt to approach me (surely if he thinks he did nothing wrong, then he would have) I was expecting abusive messages as soon as I left but he didn’t get in contact until a few days later and he was more bothered about how I looked then asking how is daughter was. He’s not asked how she is or even asked for any pictures, he just said SS have spoken to him and said they haven’t said the baby is under SS.
I then rang SS and they said they haven’t got anything logged to say he’s called, and I’m doing the correct thing safeguarding my children and not to allow access. They actually rang back as they were concerned I was going to allow access, I confirmed this was not the case but I just wanted confirmation from SS I was doing everything right.
I am in no way an unfair parent and my other child has a great relationship with her father and we both share her time equally, however my baby’s father is aggressive, controlling, smashes things, threatens to commit suicide, attempts to commit suicide, alcohol and drug abuse.. so I would not want my baby to be involved in that and he would break my other child’s toys, shout at her and refuse to get her anything if she asked for drink.
Anyway, since then he has now got a solicitor to email me and they have said I’m refusing to allow access and the father does not understand why I’m doing this and I’m being unfair… he has clearly not explained social services are involved and anything about the domestic abuse that has gone on?
I am hoping someone can please give me some advice or if you’ve been through anything similar? I genuinely don’t think he cares about her and it’s more about getting back at me, I worry her mental health could be affected and don’t want to even think about the risk of danger if he goes to the courts and gets access.
Thank you in advance