Help me come to terms with my decision

[JSG55]

I have always wanted to have two children if possible but now, due to many reasons we have decided to stop at one. Our reasons are:

• I had a very difficult and unpleasant pregnancy/labour
• DH actually only wants one (which I know should be reason enough)
• we live in a 2 bedroom house with no prospect of being able to move anywhere bigger
• the main factor is that DC does not sleep (still wakes 5/6 times during the night) and the exhaustion has badly affected my mental health causing me to be angry and frustrated when I rarely was before having DC

I know this decision is right for our family but I’m just sad at the realisation that I am now done.

I also know we are very lucky to have one healthy DC.

So I think what I’m asking is if anyone has any tips on how to finally accept being done before feeling ready?

Focus on all the positives, rather than all the reasons you feel you cant.

For me, I am looking forward to having a better balance of being me and also a parent.

More money, more opportunities to travel, better holidays, more clubs DD can join. Less financial strain.

Not having to juggle having a child in school and a child in nursery, or children who end up in different schools. This will give us more quality time as a family.

@Butteryflakycrust83

Focus on all the positives, rather than all the reasons you feel you cant.

For me, I am looking forward to having a better balance of being me and also a parent.

More money, more opportunities to travel, better holidays, more clubs DD can join. Less financial strain.

Not having to juggle having a child in school and a child in nursery, or children who end up in different schools. This will give us more quality time as a family.

Thank you, this is very helpful! I need to focus on being the best mum I can be and enjoy my DC rather than wondering about the “what if”s

I’m an only child & I really wish I wasn’t. BUT it has no negative impact on my relationship with my parents. They 100% did the right thing in only having me. They had very little money. My early childhood was a real struggle for them I think. Their decision to only have me means I got the best out of life. Money improved as I hit school age & it only being me meant they could afford to send me to dancing class with my friends & get me swimming lessons. They could afford for me to learn an instrument & I still play it now 30 years later. I know my childhood was better for their decision. And I don’t for a minute begrudge the choice they made. I wish things had been different for them & I could have had a sibling but you can’t change the past and my parents & I are really close with a great relationship :)

@Zolla

I’m an only child & I really wish I wasn’t. BUT it has no negative impact on my relationship with my parents. They 100% did the right thing in only having me. They had very little money. My early childhood was a real struggle for them I think. Their decision to only have me means I got the best out of life. Money improved as I hit school age & it only being me meant they could afford to send me to dancing class with my friends & get me swimming lessons. They could afford for me to learn an instrument & I still play it now 30 years later. I know my childhood was better for their decision. And I don’t for a minute begrudge the choice they made. I wish things had been different for them & I could have had a sibling but you can’t change the past and my parents & I are really close with a great relationship :)

Thank you, this is really reassuring! Both myself and DH are one of four siblings so it seemed natural that we would have more than one but I don’t think it’s meant to be for us