Beyond exhausted!! Help !!

[Cookiandcreme]

My 4 year old is very clingy with me. Usually follows me wherever I go, gets upset if he isn’t with me. He is with his dad 30% of the time and has firm boundaries there so behaves well, sleeps 7-7. With me, due to my mental health my boundaries slipped completely during covid and now he doesn’t listen to what I say. Bedtime is awful, constantly shouting of me to come back in the room as he wants a hug, a drink, a teddy etc then he wakes multiple times in night wanting me then up for the day 5/6 am. If I do say “I’m not coming back in” he fully melts down, screaming, crying, kicking his door etc…my anxiety goes through the roof!!

Do I just need to go cold Turkey, say “mummy will give you a hug and leave and not come back in “ ?
I just don’t want to make his clingyness worse but I need sleep desperately! I just want to pop him to bed and then be able to relax until a reasonable morning hour !!
Help

I would just give in. Stay with him until he is asleep or better still just go to bed with him and catch up on some sleep. In a few months start a gradually retreat, tell him in advance, and then after normal bedtime routine tell him you need to finish tidying the kitchen or other job but will be back in 10 mins, go back in ten minutes and when he is happy with that start making it 15 mins for a while and then 20 but always go back to him. But that’s the way I parent. Other people would do things differently.