I think on and off since my teens I've been prone to anxiety, I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager etc. When I had DD three years ago I have never experienced anxiety as acute - the constant sense of dread, panic etc. Mainly around thinking how reliant she is on me (I have a very involved DH though) and how I have to stay well to look after her.
Although the anxiety has lessened somewhat as she's got older, started nursery etc a recent house move (I think) has triggered it again. I think because we are in a meeting area and I don't have the support network of familiar people as close (we moved an hour away).
I still wake up on the days that aren't nursery days with a panic that I'll be feeling unwell and won't be able to function as a parent, the fear can be crippling. I long for days when she is "independent" enough to look after herself without me - which is horrible as I adore everything about her. I just panic at the feeling that she's so reliant on me and it makes me feel as though I'll crack under the "pressure".
If anyone can relate when did it get better? I function normally daily and some days are good (if DH is working from home I'm fine as I know I have someone there if there was an emergency) but I want to enjoy life without this black cloud and fear in the background. Maybe when she starts school?