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Original poster

Clingy baby

16 replies

KellypZac · 08/03/2022 14:11

First time Mum here! My little man is 12 weeks old today and he cries all the time apart from when he is on my lap. I can't put him down for more than 5 mins without the wailing starting! I'll also get him to sleep and put him down for a nap and he wakes up after a couple of minutes. I can't get ANYTHING done at the moment! I'm self employed and am having to work in the evenings and weekends to get stuff done. He's absolutely fine when my fiance is home in the evening. My mum and mother in law said to let him cry but I feel awful doing this. Any other ideas or suggestions?
P.s. I've tried putting him in his swing, pram, on the sofa, in his nest, he will only nap on me

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Bobojangles · 08/03/2022 14:13

It's normal for some babies - invest in a good sling (stretchy or ergo,Tula, manduca etc)

Original poster
KellypZac · 08/03/2022 14:15

Thanks - I've tried a sling and just couldn't get the hang of it. Please he's so heavy now, kills my back when I use the baby carrier when I go shopping 🤦‍♀️

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Thoosa · 08/03/2022 14:16

They do grow out of it, but I had one like that and I know that’s not much consolation at the time. It’s very intense. I wouldn’t ever leave a baby to cry either. With you 100% there.

Are either your DM or MIL offering to actually come and sit with him while you work? If they could sit at your place and entertain, bounce and smooth him for one long session each a week, you could probably get quite a lot down and you’d be able to hear that they’re not leaving him to cry.

I take it ML is impossible?

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Thoosa · 08/03/2022 14:17

SOOTH him. Not sure what smoothing him would look like. Blush

FTEngineerM · 08/03/2022 14:18

Yeah this is probably life for a bit, it’s not ideal 😬I remember it well.

One thin we liked was putting him in the shnuggle bath tub (no water obvz) and taking him round the house with me to do jobs. For sleeping I’d just let him sleep on me.

Do you BF?

If so could you feed him lying down on your bed then get up when he’s proper asleep?

AliceW89 · 08/03/2022 14:18

The stock answer of Mumsnet but…have you tried a sling? My experience is if they are clingy…they are clingy. You have to learn to live with it as opposed to aiming to fix it. Some babies are happy to be plonked on the floor wherever and some are only happy in their primary carers arms, with a whole spectrum in between. It’s completely normal, it’s just nobody prepares you for it, which is why the concept of going back to work with a baby at home seems feasible when you are pregnant.

RosieRoww · 08/03/2022 14:19

Would a sling be an option for you?

Loisiana · 08/03/2022 14:21

Sympathies OP, but that just sounds like a normal baby unfortunately! Echoing PP I'd also recommend persisting a bit more with the sling- you could try a sling library where people can help you with it? I've always found the exact correct adjustment etc makes a huge difference.

Lacedwithgrace · 08/03/2022 14:22

Unfortunately it's one of those phases most babies go through. As long as he settles on you and isn't crying for no reason except being away from you (as in, crying constantly with no breaks as that can be a sign of discomfort) you'll just have to ride it out. Try to get him to settle in his cot/sleeping area with just your hand on his tummy or forehead rather than having him sleep on you

AliceW89 · 08/03/2022 14:22

@KellypZac

Thanks - I've tried a sling and just couldn't get the hang of it. Please he's so heavy now, kills my back when I use the baby carrier when I go shopping 🤦‍♀️
Then you either are using the wrong sling or using it incorrectly. I still occasionally carry my 15kg toddler in a sling. A 3 month old should be easy, with the obvious proviso that you have no underlying back issues etc. I know Sheffield sling library do rentals if you aren’t close by there and you could look up more local ones to try in person.
Samanabanana · 08/03/2022 14:23

You havey sympathies OP, I have one of these too. Some babies just like to be held 247 Grin

Original poster
KellypZac · 08/03/2022 14:23

Thoosa MIL lives far from me and my Mum is old and riddled with arthritis so can't pick him up 😕

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Original poster
KellypZac · 08/03/2022 14:26

Yes I am BF. I'll try lying on the bed with him 🙂 thank you

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BlueGreyApple · 08/03/2022 14:27

Do you have a local sling library? Where you can go and try out different slings and find one that is more comfy?

My baby was the same - I never got anything done- poor you if you need to work.
Baby would sometimes sleep next to me and that way I could do some stuff on computer while next to him (he usually woke up if I moved away though)

If you need to work can you get someone to come round and help you with the baby?

Thoosa · 08/03/2022 14:30

@KellypZac

Thoosa MIL lives far from me and my Mum is old and riddled with arthritis so can't pick him up 😕
That’s a shame.

Get very firm with them about their “cry it out” suggestions, then, because being told that repeatedly will begin to make you murderous.

Original poster
KellypZac · 08/03/2022 14:42

🤣🤣🤣

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