Anxious about managing a 3yo and a baby

[7Worfs]

I’m 15wk pregnant with a nearly 3-year old DS who’s just entered a very defiant phase, doesn’t listen to anything, runs off, says no or just ignores us.
I’m riddled with anxiety how I’ll manage him when the baby arrives, how am I going to do nursery runs with a pram, he tends to run off, how am I going to keep him off the roads… then ofc how would I cope at home on days DH isn’t around.

I already feel incapable as a parent, with DH doing majority of toddler parenting…

Anyone been through similar and can offer reassurance that it will be fine?

The defiant phase may be over by the time the baby comes. In the mean time, work in establishing good behaviour and boundaries and expectations so that by the time the baby comes he is used to it.

Having two at home is fine, I had a 3 year old and a newborn in lockdown and it was fine.

Thank you, Dock - we haven’t cracked the good behaviour yet, he has started misbehaving and laughing at nursery too.
I hope you are right and we’ll be fine.

I agree with @DockOTheBay it's not going to be as bad as you think.

Mine have a two year age gap and I had similar worries but at that age they go through phases so quickly, your toddler will have matured quite a bit by the time baby comes. Yes there will be challenges but nothing you can't deal with and people on here will be able to offer tips with all those little niggly practical issues. Re the nursery run would your little one hop onto a buggy board, maybe one of the ones with a seat? Mine loved it because it meant she could see the baby.

Good luck and try not to worry too much about how things will be in the future because it's honestly impossible to predict so I would advise just trying to take it as it comes and make the most of the fact that your DH is hands on with the older one, send them off for lots of soft play dates etc so you can snooze and have some quality time with baby.

It will be fine, I had a new born, 3 year old 5 year old and 6 year old and was a lone parent! Honestly it won’t be as bad as it seems, many people have that age gap and smaller... you could use a double buggy if you wanted though I didn’t but mine wasn’t a runner

We have a very similar age gap, toddler is 3.5 and our baby is almost 11 weeks.

Its not been easy, but its also been fine in a lot of ways. What about wearing the baby in a sling for the nursery run?

Our toddler loves his brother though and we've made a big deal about how helpful he is and what a big grown up boy helping etc.

We've all just had covid so have been stuck at home for 10 days, its been very intense. But I like to have a plan of things to do, so go to the park, do the grocery shopping, sort laundry and a routine for things too has helped

Thank you for the suggestions, buggy board might just be the thing, and hopefully toddler would have matured by then.
It’s reassuring to read that you’ve coped well, though I am not convinced I am a capable hands on mother…