I feel as if I’m doing a terrible job parenting my 15 month old

[Camelfordessert]

I really am getting worried DS is behind developmentally, particularly with regard to language.

He babbles a lot but while mama dada and baba are recognisable words and he can say hiya but not clearly - it’s more like or-rah. All the babies his age I know can say at least one discernible word.

He also doesn’t seem to recognise things - again the babies I know will do things like say Rawr-rawr for lion, etc, DS doesn’t seem to recognise pictures and things like that? Don’t know if that makes sense.

He shakes his head no and nods his head yes and he waves and points but again he rarely points in comparison to children a similar age.

He sleeps poorly and he is very clingy at the moment. He eats well at nursery but badly for me.

I am worried as I feel like I spent most time when he was little walking around and feel as if I should have done a lot more reading and so on.

What do nursery say about his development ?
Do you teach him how to say the words correctly ? You need to say it over and over again.

I do say Hiya over and over and I try to say things like baby, bath, car, duck, etc (all words I’ve heard children a similar age say).

Nursery haven’t raised any concerns. I know there is a big variation but when everyone else is doing something and yours isn’t you do worry.

I also cannot clean his teeth … just so worried about that as well.

He’s still very young to be saying words, I have three children and all mine started speaking at around 2 but weren’t really saying much at 14-15 months. My youngest is 16 months now and she babbles a lot and only really says mumma, dadda and uh oh clearly. Something I found though is if I video her babbling and chatting with me and then watch it back I realise she’s actually saying a lot more than I notice at the time.

It’s so easy to compare but try not to worry, if nursery haven’t raised any concerns then it doesn’t sound like there is a problem and you’ll stress yourself and your son out by trying to push him to talk before he’s ready. Read him books and talk to him lots are the best things you can do at the moment.

I have a 16 month old who isn't walking or talking yet. Just babbles, no words at all. Her 2.5 year old sister was well ahead at this age. But I'm not worried, she'll get there just at a slower pace. All the things you've mentioned, pointing, shaking head, nodding, saying mamma etc all sound about right for a 15 month old. Wouldn't worry about teeth too much, mine just chews on a toothbrush. Oh and easting a nightmare for us too, she's had weetabix for dinner 2 nights running as refused my meals. If she was my first I might worry but I know everything is a phase, so just ride it out. Once they understand bribery they'll be eating their veg and cleaning their teeth in no time (sorry MN, terrible parenting technique I know, but the only one that works for us every time!)

Hi OP, this could all be well within normal at this stage. My first was a bit slower with talking than average but not delayed - by 2yo he was talking a lot more and then at 2 and a half he just took off with it and we've not had an issue since. I'd recommend you ring your health Visitor and have a chat about it all and also talk to his key worker at nursery. You could also ask for the contact details for the speech and language team in your area from the HV and they are really helpful with advice / what to look out for in terms of red flags with speech development. My second does have a speech delay but no one was really worried until he turned 2yo - up until then development does vary a lot!

Thanks, that is so reassuring.

He does actually know to give you a kiss when you say kiss which is very sweet … I guess it’s just easy to compare and think I should have done this or done that.

Try not to compare.
If you have any queries about his hearing see your GP or HV.
Not a bad idea to voice your concerns to your HV in any case.
Is he developing physically as you would expect?
Babies learn by observation ,reinforcement and repetition .
Keep having fun with your little one, singing, chatting, going for walks, playing and mixing.You can't teach him as such, just put him into the position to learn.
My DC seemed to learn stepwise so no new words for ages and then loads all at once iyswim.
As far as tooth brushing is concerned you just have to do it. You can't cajole or reason with any baby under two and rarely under 3or 4 if they can't see the benefit.

From what you're saying, you can recognise that he's saying Hiya so he does have a word. It's not unusual for it to be unclear.

Say a bit more about pictures?

My oldest only knew 3 “words” by age 2, “ma”, “pa” and “no”

He was much more interested in doing things than talking

He had speech delay but all kids develop at different rates, he became “average” soon enough

The paediatrician said kids develop at different rates

It’s not a race

He’s just a baby

How do you mean about pictures sorry, so if we are looking at a book I might say can you see the mouse, where is the tree, but he isn’t bothered and wants to turn the pages or eat it or throw it … obviously I want looking at books to be enjoyable so I don’t push it. But also he’s very active and sometimes just doesn’t want to look at a book?

Tooth brushing you have to force I’m afraid. I lay mine on the bed between my legs, held them down and did it. It’s so important and I told them so. No negotiable here.

I used to force it but he got so distressed he was sick and that seemed a step too far to me.

I have been brushing my teeth with him and he tries to copy me with his toothbrush but he obviously isn’t very effective.

Understanding language is much more important than speaking at this age. If you give him and instruction or ask him to point to something or give you something does he understand?

It's not too late to read to him if you don't feel like you have done this enough. Bedtime is the obvious time to have a look at some books, but it's also nice to sit in the day and read or even take one out with you to read on the park or waiting for lunch or something. Narrating your day is also good advice. Using very clear language to talk about the hear and now, rather than anything less tangible. So for instance saying "I'm putting the bread in the toaster" or "Let's put your shoes on now so we can go out to play" or "Can you see the moon up in the sky?" so he can associate the words with what is currently happening.

You don't mention if he watches TV but most advice says this should be heavily restricted before 2 years of age as too much screen time has been blamed for falling language skills in little kids.

I think that sounds like you're doing really well!

I would keep doing exactly what you're doing, but I would also talk to your health visitor and ask about a hearing test. Most speech and language therapy teams will want to know about how well he can hear language, so it might be worth thinking about.

@LuckyKitty13

Tooth brushing you have to force I’m afraid. I lay mine on the bed between my legs, held them down and did it. It’s so important and I told them so. No negotiable here.

Snap- had to wrestle both mine between 1-2 yrs old, at 2 they liked and understood the Dugee toothbrush song.

OP your child sounds entirely normal with their development- stop comparing, start enjoying

it’s so important and I told them so

I’m not sure DS would understand this.

I’m pretty sure his hearing is fine, he does respond to noisy toys and enjoys bashing and thumping things.

I’m not sure he understands instructions, no. He does know the meaning of the odd word like kiss, mama, no and so on but I don’t think he understands shoe, ball etc.