Does it get easier? I just can't cope

[ohthestruggles]

I'm not coping this week atall. DH had a bug last weekend through to Monday/Tuesday so I was doing everything, all the washing, cooking, childcare and dog training and walks. He watched DS whilst I dealt with the dog but other than that, I did it all. MIL is unwell so couldn't have DS for the four hours she normally does, she couldn't manage the week before either. Got rid of the cleaner because we need to cut back on spending so that's another list of jobs for me although I'm never on top of things and the house is a mess. The dog is really high energy and needs mental stimulation. I've worked hard with her for two years to stop her chasing wildlife etc but it appears to all have been in vain and she doesn't listen to me outside. She slipped her lead the other day and wouldn't come back. I just broke down. My dog hates me and the training is burning a hole in my pocket. I make all our meals etc. DH runs his own business and said the winter would be quieter and he could help more. It hasn't happened. He isn't interested in helping with the dog because he doesn't believe what I'm doing is working even though I'm the one that reads the books and speaks to the trainers. I've just cried all morning and DH has taken DS out. I wanted to go deep down but I just feel like I'm failing them all.

It's really hard. We have dogs too and they definitely add a significant burden. Could you look at just lead walking her for a bit to reduce your stress? I would have always classed ours as high energy and argued they need long off lead walks, but having struggled to manage them and a baby we've been lead walking almost exclusively. They are fine - if anything they've become a lot calmer as they spend less time on 'prey drive'. They still get plenty of walks in terms of length of time, and we still do some off lead but more at weekends when we're both walking them.

In terms of your husband, make a list of the household duties and divide them between you so there is no confusion over who is doing what. He needs to pull his weight - it's his child too. You aren't failing, it's just tough. Keep going x

@MGee123 thank you. She doesn't get off of her lead any more as she was chasing deer and cars 🤦🏼‍♀️ so if she does happen to slip out of my hand she makes a bid for freedom. I would love to be able to let her off but it just isn't worth risking her safety. I'm working on her training and prey drive hence my anxiety and current stress of juggling these tasks with housework and baby etc. It's never ending really. DH really does need to get more involved in the way of housework and meals. Business is away to enter a really busy period again and I'm dreading that coinciding with me going back to work 😞

It's great you're working on her training, ours aren't the best behaved eg pulling on the lead and one barks at other dogs a lot. It's hard work! Lead walking like you're doing sounds sensible. Have you got a playpen for your baby? I find ours really useful so I can put the baby down but not worry about the dogs.

Just to flip the work scenario slightly - it might make things easier? Less time at home with the dog? Baby in childcare I'm assuming, so you get a breather and some headspace? You can get into a routine and it might serve as a good time to get your husband doing more? It doesn't matter how busy he is - if you're both working he needs to be doing his share and I really would sit down and divide up the day to day tasks so that you are both clear about who is doing what (this also gives you permission to nag when his stuff hasn't been done)! I've started back at work and I can't say I find it harder to be honest. Those hours at work are so nice to have adult conversations, go to the loo in peace, get some life admin done on my lunch break etc. It might not be as bad as you think 🤞

OP I had a cry tonight for the same reason.

Our cleaner closed their business this week, I work FT, have a baby and dog.

I don't know the answers but I do feel your dilemma xx

A very badly behaved dog may I add who we have a paid a lot of money to have a behaviourist in for but to no improvement 😔