Teaching a five year old to be kind

[Eleven17]

My five year old daughter is amazing. She can be loving and kind and generous. But, often times...she is selfish, rude and even mean to her friends. If things don't go her way she can be stroppy, her eyes roll and she talks in an unkind way. She can be very controlling. To the point that her teacher spoke to me about it this morning 😢. How can I help her learn to be more aware of how she speaks to/treats people? More aware of other people's feelings? More accepting if she isn't in control?

All help and advice gratefully received.

To be honest that sounds like my LO

I just keep trying to talk about feelings and how things make me feel (not all negative tho!)
Such as if he helps with the dishwasher 'oh well done that makes me happy thank you'

Oh when you get angry at me that it makes me sad '

I don't do it on everything only big things... I am not sure if that's the best way, so following for other ideas !

Modelling the behaviour you want from her is number one. Also guiding her a bit socially such as 'maybe you could try saying...' as sometimes kids just need to know what words to say! Noticing other people's feelings - eg. xyz looks a sad, I wonder why/I wonder if we could do anything to help. Reading any books like kind, the colour monster, the big book of feelings to start conversations. Also maybe invite a friend over? Might help with the friendship and you can see where she needs help. Don't worry loads and loads of kids are just the same!

... also noticing the positives 'I saw you sharing really nicely' or 'you made your friend feel better when she was sad' and the reaction of others - 'friend is happy now because you've been so kind'