Gender Identity in Kid

[LostOnParenting]

So, our 12 year old recently filmed our reaction for YouTube when they announced that they’re an “asexual polyamorous lesbian”.
Neither of us has any issues with LGBT+ community, or if our kid identifies that they belong to this community. But we’re concerned that a 12 year old :

1. Videoed telling us, to post on YouTube.
2. Identifies as polyamorous.
3. Wants us to call them by a different name, which isn’t exactly a name as we see, but rather just a word, like talon.

We’ve tried to discuss this all together, like adults, to air our concerns, but our kid just gets annoyed and angry and says we’re not believing them. We’re looking into counselling, but wait lists are insane. And we’re just at a loss about what to do or how to handle this any further. When we try to discuss, we get shut down, but we also need to understand how they came to discover this about themselves, and explain why we’re a little concerned that at 12, they’ve requested a name change and said they’re polyamorous. Any advice from people with similar experiences would be helpful

Remove all internet now. Get said 12 year playing sport, horseriding etc but get them off the internet.
It is all bullshit fuelled by online nonsense. They are obviously accessing completely inappropriate stuff- get them off it.

We have all this with my stepdaughter. It’s a contagion. Get rid of the internet. Get her an outside hobby. We are making some inroads with the outside hobby part. It is having an effect.

Get him/her off the internet as PP said. There is a huge amount of harmful shit on this subject that will lead your child down dangerous and confusing paths. 12 years old is too young for this nonsense. Fucking asexual? At 12, I'd hope they weren't anything sexual!

Another vote fir remove the Internet privileges

Access to SMHW through a shared device that can be used whilst supervised.

Get them interested in something. Sport, reading, cooking, woodwork , anything but you tube.

'Remove all internet now. Get said 12 year playing sport, horseriding etc but get them off the internet.'

Absolutely. Your child is 12 - still very much a child. They're trying to find their own identity and that's normal and healthy, but as the adults, you need to put some boundaries in place and take control. Your poor kid has had their head filled with this dangerous nonsense and it's far too much far too early.

Do they have their own YouTube channel? That needs to end, if so. Have they put this recording online? If so, it needs to be removed right now and you need to have a very serious talk about consent

I'd remove access to YouTube for a start. The rest of it, personally, I wouldn't make a big fuss of. It's everywhere at the moment and more than likely as your DC grows they will realise how ridiculous they sound. You can't control what they hear at school etc but I'd lock down social media etc.

Internet access is already restricted and always has been. We have not allowed the posting of the video. But they’re still exposed to this information through school (both socially and in studies I.e. sex Ed) we can’t control 100% of everything she’s exposed to in life, try as we might, no one can.

Don’t feed this bullshit with counselling. Tell them to knock it off.

Ban them from the internet, the filming you is outrageous and stinks of attention seeking.

It sounds like they've got no real understanding of what any of it means, it's just stuff they've heard online/at school.

They shouldn't have a YouTube account.

Get the off the internet (or at least improve your parental controls) and get them involved in some real life activity.

In terms of what you should say, I'd thank them for being open with you, remind them they are too young to be engaging in any sexual activity (if they're asexual they won't want to anyway) and leave it there. If they're not actually having sex then it doesn't really matter what label they give themselves. If you think they are engaging in sexual activity then that is a whole different concern.

'we can’t control 100% of everything she’s exposed to in life, try as we might, no one can.'

That's very true. Well done for nipping the recording in the bud .

Take it all away. All if it.

Quite honestly, this is a fashionable thing to do. I've got a 15 and a 18 year old and both have many friends. I can count the number of teens I know who are straight and 'identify' as their birth sex on one hand. My youngest tried a dramatic announcement (although it wasn't filmed!) and was quite disappointed that we took it in our strides.

So for me, I'd be more worried about the internet side if this. I agree that your child needs to get out into the real world more and be kept busy and exposed to kids who are also doing things in the real world rather than losers holded up in their bedrooms on the internet watching bollocks on tictok.

Not that I get any of this stuff but how can you be polyamorus and asexual at the same time??? To me that means she has lots of female mates whom she loves and isn't interested in having a sexual relationship with....isn't that most kids???...not sure about the lesbian bit.