What's tough about 2?

[ablisha]

We have decided to try for a second baby. Our DS is 16 months.

What do people find tough about having 2?
And what did people find easier the second time around?

Thanks!

I was discussing this with a friend yesterday.

The actual baby is a complete doddle in comparison - I am so much more relaxed, more intuitive and much more aware of how quickly the time passes. I'm enjoying the baby bit much more than I did the first time.

But life is undoubtedly harder with two. The logistics, the loss of physical and emotional space, and the lack of time to myself is all really hard. Juggling a screaming baby and a toddler having a meltdown (in public, single handed) is absolutely diabolical.

So, in summary: for me, the second baby has been simultneously easier and harder than I imagined!

Managing two at the same time is tricky - I’m talking about when they’re young- although sometimes it can be lovely. It’s totally unpredictable though whether they’re going to semi-entertain each other or drive each other round the bend. Whenever I just have one to look after it feels impossibly easy! So yes I think the hard thing is logistically managing both of their needs. I’ve worried far less about my youngest’s development and health though

Thanks all

I think a lot depends on the temperament of each child. I found 1 ok as she was quite contented and easy and a good sleeper. 2nd dd was very highly strung and wanted to be held constantly. Woke frequently and constantly wanting to bf etc. This then had a knock on effect on dd1. So for me 1-2 was much harder than 1 due to temperament.

@ExactlyThis

Up all night with baby and then up at the crack of dawn with the toddler.

Literally zero downtime.

Definitely this.

Like everything, it depends. Personally, having two is easier than having one because the first one was a HORRIBLE toddler, and now he's older, it's all easier. The trickiest thing rn is that DC1 is at an age where he wants to play with tiny plastic things, while DC2 is at the prime age for putting tiny plastic things in his mouth. The house is littered with choking hazards that were always kept out of reach when DC1 was that age.

1st was hardest for most things. Sleepless nights are harder with 2 onward especially if you have school runs to do or work. We have 6 now and I'm used to little sleep, got less than 5 hours last night but had a productive day (inc fasted gym session).

There are times where you can't meet the needs of both at the same time. Down to the baby is feeding, toddler cracks their head against a doorframe and is in floods of tears situation, up to the older child wants to start doing after-school activities, you may still be tied to younger child childcare pick-ups or they've just started reception and don't cope well being dragged off to watch their big brother/sister doing an activity when they're starving and knackered.

Siblings may love each other and play nicely together. Or they may squabble and physically attack each other and destroy each other's things. Likely a combo of both. You have to get used to comforting one child because the other has deliberately hurt them or broken something, at the same time as telling off the other one who may then have a meltdown and also need comforting. It's a constant juggling, or being pulled in different directions.

Twice as many kids to bring home germs. And they share it with their sibling as well as with you. While one child is ill and vomiting or you're trying to get calpol in them, the other will probably not care and still nag you to do stuff with or for them.

Potty training! I know people who've found it easy and also some people who successfully potty trained before two. We did it at 2.5 and found it very tricky for a few weeks! It was worth the effort though.

Also tantrums before they can be properly reasoned with - they can still be distracted though unlike clever 3 year olds.

We had a tough year of night-waking at 2. She'd slept through the night at 1 and dud again at 3. Other people we know also found 2 tough first night waking.

Overall I found the toddler years easier than having a baby but I couldn't do both at once so we have a big gap between our kids.

Going back to sleepless nights and not being able to rest during the day when baby sleeps because you have a hyper toddler. (Lack of sleep is definitely the hardest part just awful with two!) Recovering from birth with second was much more difficult (c section) not being able to lift my toddler for weeks after the birth was heartbreaking, after a few months though things do get easier. My toddler absolutely adores her little brother, and now that he’s crawling about they play together which makes me so happy 🥰 although they do fight over toys too!