Is 2 under 2 manageable?

[starryeyedxx]

DS is 10 weeks old and I’m loving motherhood so far! I know it gets harder as kids get older.

Something I’ve been feeling lately is so broody? I can’t wait to get pregnant and give birth again and be a mum to another baby! But with this I feel guilt. Is this bad to feel this when I have this perfect baby I’m enjoying my right now?

I did think about having 2 under 2 (if possible I know it may take longer to conceive and we’d have a bigger age gap, I’m talking about shortest possible one for when we plan another)

Is it impossible/unbearable? Part of me thinks everything will be done close together , I only want 2 kids atm so if I did this all the newborn stage etc is fresh and we do it nearly all at once

Another worry is how hard it’d be - is it manageable? We do have pets too, 2 small Yorkshire terriers. They’re good dogs but obviously still a responsibility , would this make it not possible?

Not set in stone plans as it’s early to plan anything like this but it’s just a thought we’ve been having! So I wanted to gather opinions so we could think about it over the year

Baby YEARS! (Tears too to be fair)

I had two under two and I wouldn't change my decision but I'd never have that small a gap if I have a third. Very hard at the time.

Week is manageable because people have twins all the time.

But is probably meet your hormones settle before making any big decisions. Esp as the next ones could be twins....

Some people love it, but I would not have been able to cope. DS is 2.5 now and I'm only just able to contemplate another. The idea of two in nappies sounds beyond horrendous to me.

I think it depends on what kind of person you are!

Very doable. We had 16.5mth between our 2nd & 3rd, at times it was tiring but then we had twins when 3rd was still 2 and that was exhausting. Though I am a bit mad and we got a puppy when the twins were 9mth 🤣. We had our 6th child last year so a mad house but everything gets done, eventually.

We ended up with 3 under 2, because the 2nd was twins. Which when we went back for another did not even enter my mind as a possibility. My eldest was still such a baby herself when I had the twins (21 months) - I hadn’t realised till we got there how much babies change between 18-24 months.

Maybe it would be different with just 1 newborn, but for her sake I wish I’d put it off even just another 2-3 months.

That said they are now 5 and 7 and play so so well together. People always say having them close together pays off when they get a bit bigger (I think the twins were 2.5-3 when we started to see glimpses of it) and it totally does. It just seemed like it took an eternity for us to get here.

I did it and it’s wonderful. Hard work but the children are a sheer joy and delight.

I think it depends on what kind of person you are!

And also what kind of babies and toddlers you have. My babies are really HARD WORK, so two tiny ones would be horrendous.

I did it. They are now almost 3 and almost 4.5. I won't lie, it was hard in the baby stage and hard in the toddler stage. I would say it's getting easier now my youngest can have a conversation because they play together now which is lovely. But my youngest was hard work anyway. There are lots of benefits but it is difficult. We want a 3rd but we won't have a small age gap again because 3 children is more hands than you have so we need the older ones to be more independent/safety aware etc for taking them out and also it was really hard!

And what type of parent you are. I had a routine, a bedtime and luckily two good sleepers.

I did now 18 and 20 . I was a single parent too . It was hard , really hard but it worked for me as I had preschoolers , primary then secondary now off to uni happen at the same time . Lots of exam years in a row though !

How they sleep is also crucial. At your stage I was so loved up I was also thinking I can't wait for the next one! Six months later and baby hasn't slept longer than an hour and a half stretch for months and I think being pregnant and the SPD I had would actually kill me right now! My prolapse also didn't come to light until 4 months PP so still working on that.

@FennecShandDoesEverything

I think it depends on what kind of person you are!

And also what kind of babies and toddlers you have. My babies are really HARD WORK, so two tiny ones would be horrendous.

Agree with that too.

Although, DS was the easiest baby ever (good eater, LOVED sleeping, could pop him in a carrier and go anywhere) and is still a reasonably chilled toddler and I still couldn't have coped with another one .

@TuscanApothecary

I had two under two.

Plus sides - they played well together when primary age. Got out of the baby years quickly. They still get on fairly well, it's great to do activities that both enjoy, holidays aren't spent doing little dc things with an older dc.

Negatives - my eldest didn't get to be the baby for very long. When they bicker and argue. 2 under 2 is hard, it doesn't get easier until they're in school. Now they're both teens making sure they both get enough emotional and school support (one in yr 11 and one in yr 10 so lots of school work) takes it out of you.

I'm glad I did it this way though.

This.

I had three under 26 months. Luckily all great sleepers and eaters. Not sure I would have found it so great if they weren't as I had no family support locally and a husband that worked long hours but that helped in a way as he didn't upset my routines. Neither of the older two were babies for long - turfed out of their cots to move the next one in! The one thing I found most difficult, when they got to 2/3/4 is that you only have two hands for crossing roads etc. That and double buggies are a nightmare when you also have a very stubborn daughter who wants to walk everywhere.

They are now 23, 22 and 21 - great friends despite being all over the country with Uni and work but have just got back from. Berlin trip together (plus partners)