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Parenting

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Original poster

Is 2 under 2 manageable?

39 replies

starryeyedxx · 26/02/2022 22:25

DS is 10 weeks old and I’m loving motherhood so far! I know it gets harder as kids get older.

Something I’ve been feeling lately is so broody? I can’t wait to get pregnant and give birth again and be a mum to another baby! But with this I feel guilt. Is this bad to feel this when I have this perfect baby I’m enjoying my right now?

I did think about having 2 under 2 (if possible I know it may take longer to conceive and we’d have a bigger age gap, I’m talking about shortest possible one for when we plan another)

Is it impossible/unbearable? Part of me thinks everything will be done close together , I only want 2 kids atm so if I did this all the newborn stage etc is fresh and we do it nearly all at once

Another worry is how hard it’d be - is it manageable? We do have pets too, 2 small Yorkshire terriers. They’re good dogs but obviously still a responsibility , would this make it not possible?

Not set in stone plans as it’s early to plan anything like this but it’s just a thought we’ve been having! So I wanted to gather opinions so we could think about it over the year

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FennecShandDoesEverything · 26/02/2022 22:27

I mean, you'd cope because you have to cope, but it's hard. What you're feeling now is hormonally driven. Give your hormones time to calm down and your body time to recover before you make any big decisions.

ThePoint678 · 26/02/2022 22:28

It’s fine. Many people have that age gap. Nothing is “impossible” as it depends on the circumstances of each individual family.

TheRideOfYourLife · 26/02/2022 22:28

Never mind manageable - it's brilliant!

Interested in this thread?

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Santaslittlemelter · 26/02/2022 22:30

You’d probably survive, yes. Do I recommend it? Nope.

And that’s with the wisdom of experience.

HariboMaroon · 26/02/2022 22:30

I had 2 under 2 I loved it.

I then had a 3rd when my middle was age 3 and that was a breeze.

Go for it !!

TuscanApothecary · 26/02/2022 22:31

I had two under two.

Plus sides - they played well together when primary age. Got out of the baby years quickly. They still get on fairly well, it's great to do activities that both enjoy, holidays aren't spent doing little dc things with an older dc.

Negatives - my eldest didn't get to be the baby for very long. When they bicker and argue. 2 under 2 is hard, it doesn't get easier until they're in school. Now they're both teens making sure they both get enough emotional and school support (one in yr 11 and one in yr 10 so lots of school work) takes it out of you.

I'm glad I did it this way though.

scornrufibarbis · 26/02/2022 22:31

I had 2 under 2 (now 2.5 and 3.5) I actually really enjoyed it and didn’t find it too bad. Everyone told me it would be awful but I found it much easier to deal with multiple night wakes, nappies, bottles etc all in one
Big phase rather than getting past that with Ds2 and dd coming along.

They’re also so close! Little best friends. We’ve been lucky they don’t fight and pretty much are days are very easy.

SparkleSky · 26/02/2022 22:31

I did it and it was really hard, quite unmanageable at points and my mental health and health suffered. A few years down the line I'm happy with the age gap but I see the wisdom in waiting a few years between babies. I wouldn't and couldn't do those first years again. Mind you we went into lockdown when they were turning 3 and 1 so it might have got easier quicker if it wasn't for that.

BabyTurtIe · 26/02/2022 22:31

Of course people manage, I have 2 born 12 months apart and was a lone parent it was fine! Hard but fine

Abra1d1 · 26/02/2022 22:37

20 months between mine and it wasn’t double the work. It was busy but not impossible and the hardest part with nappies passes quickly especially as the youngest one was quite switched on with potty training.

It was harder for them in later years because my daughter, the younger one, is very competitive so her older sibling had her close behind him in more than one way. In our very small primary school they were in the same classroom for three terms even though they had two academic years between them because of the way the 20-month gap fell.

But our circumstances meant that we had to get a move on if we wanted more than one child. I don’t have any regrets.

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 26/02/2022 22:37

Mine are. I found it hard to begin with as I had a very active toddler keen to have a ton of stimulation and a chilled baby who wanted nothing more than to chill.
I ended up leaving DS1 in nursery when originally planned to take him out because it became abundantly clear that it would have been difficult to split myself in 2. I had 0 help, outside my husband (who has a busy job).
Fast forward 10 years and the kids are as tight as can be. They play a lot together, share friends.... it's brilliant and has been for years. So despite the initial challenges, IME, it has been worth it.

Metallicalover · 26/02/2022 22:38

Agree with others, you manage because you have too. A few of my friends have had a small age gap and have said how hard it is and that they wouldn't recommend it.
When my child was 10 weeks I thought the same as you! Even though I had a high risk pregnancy I wanted to do it again soon.
I found that once my baby got over 1 she needed me more than she did when she was a baby. She was very easy going as a baby.
She's 2.5 and ideally I would like a 3-4 year age gap where they are a little more independent. Everyone is different though.

3girlsmama · 26/02/2022 22:42

We had three under two, twins born when eldest was 21 months. Pros & cons to it all. But for right now I'd suggest how you're feeling is very likely hormone related. Also, worth considering the physical impact of another pregnancy very soon.

Barrawarra · 26/02/2022 22:45

I mean, I wouldn’t want it. But plenty people do it and survive!

CatheP · 26/02/2022 22:54

With my first I remember having intense feelings of wanting another. The feelings did go away and after about 10 months I was so glad. It was really nice for my DS as we had so much quality time together.
I then had 2 under 2 (newborn and 17month old). It was and still is so hard. They are 2 and 4 now. That said though I'm a single mum and DS has autism and developmental delays. I do have family help.
But I've really struggled and most days have felt so overwhelmed. Sleep is hard. Going out is hard (they've often run away from me in different directions).
It would've have been much easier having a 3 year age gap I think

footiemum3 · 27/02/2022 06:40

We had 3 under 2, eldest 19 months when twins were born. Certainly doable ours were all great sleepers which made a huge difference. As they get older it’s great as ours all enjoy the same things, can mix well with each other’s friends etc.

MangoSeason · 27/02/2022 06:58

I have 3 DCS. 17 month gap then 22 month gap. If you are able, it’s totally doable and gets the crazy years out of the way fast.

SNUG2022 · 27/02/2022 07:01

It's the best thing I've done, but nearly killed me for the first 3 years.

Lockdownmummy · 27/02/2022 08:31

We are 6 months into 2 under 2. The first few months were hard! DD was the kind of baby that didn't want to be put down so I felt very guilty about not having time for DS.

Currently it's manageable but has its ups and downs like all children. DS still goes to nursery two days a week which is good for him and I get to do a class with the baby, housework etc. I've synced their afternoon naps which is bliss! Dreading the day DS drops his nap.

We will have a year with them both in nursery for four days without any funded hours which will be tough financially but better in the long run for us both to keep our jobs and take the hit in the short term.

Days out, holidays etc I'm hoping are easyish to plan as things will be suitable for both being only 15 months apart.

Our close gap wasn't necessarily 'planned'. It took a few years for us to have DS so thought we better get cracking if we wanted two and DD came much sooner than expected. Thankfully both pregnancies and births were uncomplicated which helped.

daisypond · 27/02/2022 08:35

Completely normal. Virtually most parents I know had two under two. It’s a perfect gap- mine have been friends all their life.

TataMamma · 27/02/2022 13:48

My DDs are 14 months and 2 weeks, and so far I've no regrets, but I always wanted them very close. I think the big thing is how good a sleeper your older child is, because if they were not sleeping through the night that would probably be a killer.
Ultimately I just thought very close together would be harder at first, but easier in the long run and it's more likely the kids will be close which I wanted. Also, I wanted a third, and I'm not getting any younger, although will wait a bit longer to try and have DC3.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 27/02/2022 16:06

Mine are 20 months apart and also had dogs at the time. Fitting in their walks was the hardest part. It was quite all encompassing but didn't find it particularly hard.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2022 16:10

A lot of folk find it works. I wouldn't have coped.

sauceyorange · 27/02/2022 16:23

At ten weeks babies do virtually nothing. Once your LO is on the move you'll have more of a sense of how parenting will be for the next few years....!

FudgeSundae · 27/02/2022 16:46

19 month age gap here. I was broody but also wanted to get the baby tears out of the way for our family. It’s been fine - the hardest bit was late pregnancy with a 18 month old

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