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Parenting

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Original poster

am i a terrible mother if i don't go to m&b groups???

17 replies

armyofme · 03/01/2008 11:32

i'm not sure if i should feel really guilty about this or not...do/did most people on here tend to go to these, and do you think my dd is really missing out on something if i don't? i really like us spending our days together and don't really feel the need to go for myself, but i worry that i'm being selfish as she only really sees me and dp regularly at the moment. she does spend a bit of time in the gym creche, when i can be bothered to go and she'll be going to a nursery pt in a few months, so she does and will have some contact with other babies, but i'm just worried that this is not enough....

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Jackstini · 03/01/2008 11:36

Army - you have to do what is right for both of you, not anyone else.
How old is she? does she like the gym creche when she goes? do you feel she gets something out of it?
What is it you don't like about the groups? Maybe you could do some other activities together that get you out the house and seeing other things?

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 11:36

i don't go to groups, i hate them.

My children are fine!

hercules1 · 03/01/2008 11:38

Hated them. Hardly went at all with dd .

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ChippyMinton · 03/01/2008 11:40

Have never set foot in one, don't think I missed out on anything TBH.

wishingchair · 03/01/2008 11:40

Don't think there's anything wrong with it at all ... I did go to them with DD1 as I had friends who went too so it was a good opportunity for a coffee and chat as much as anything. DD1 is still friends with some of those children now at 5 but that is more to do with us continuing to make the effort of gettign them together. She also made really good friends at nursery and now at school. With DD2 I didn't go to the m&b groups and she's absolutely fine. She went to nursery from being 1 yr old and loves it. She's very sociable and I don't think she missed out one bit. IMO M&B groups are more for the mothers than the babies

FluffyMummy123 · 03/01/2008 11:40

Message withdrawn

magsi · 03/01/2008 11:40

I never went either and mine are all fine. The only difference I noticed is that your child is maybe a little more shy when starting nursery, but they soon settle in.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 03/01/2008 11:43

i hate them too.

Anna8888 · 03/01/2008 11:47

M&B groups are for the mother's sake and sanity. Babies don't care about socialising with their peers for ages - not until they are about three. Though they like older children before that.

If you don't like M&B, don't go.

TheGoatofBitterness · 03/01/2008 11:52

i quite liked the m&b group i went to. it was teh toddler groups that horrified me.

Original poster

armyofme · 03/01/2008 11:58

thanks for your posts, it is reassuring that i'm not the only person who doesn't go to these sort of things...

jackstini - she is 7 months and does enjoy it at the creche, as long as the timings right. but not really sure how much she can interact with the other babies yet tbh....as for the groups, i don't dislike them per se, they just don't appeal to me that much, can't explain why, just not my cup of tea really. we do do quite a lot together though and get out everyday for walks, swimming, shopping, etc, so it's not that she's stuck indoors, just stuck with me that's all!

cheers icod

OP posts:

mumsway · 03/01/2008 11:59

dd is 18 months old and i have never set foot in one.

i also wondered if i was being selfish too as i keep getting asked by in laws if i am going to take her to nursery or m & b group and am i going back to work, but then i thought its got nothing to do with them and i do what i think is right for dd. want to be a SAHM for as long as i can.

i am however going to take her to a gym for toddlers.

i don't think you should feel guilty at all, do whats right for you and dd.

fireflyfairy2 · 03/01/2008 12:03

Jesus, i'd rather drink my own blood through a straw than go to M&T groups!

I hate the fact that we feel under pressure to stimulate our children all the time...does them good to learn how to be bored IMO!

I have a friend whos dd loves M&T & once told me it was my duty to take my ds to them... yeah right.

elesbells · 03/01/2008 12:08

horrible places they are. I went once and once only - was okay while they played but felt like a prize plum sitting on a mat singing the wheels on the bus with energy.

Original poster

armyofme · 03/01/2008 12:35

this is great - thanks all - the guilt is dripping away rapidly! feeling a bit less like a lazy good-for-nothing now

OP posts:

IndigoBlue · 03/01/2008 12:49

I'm glad other people feel like this, I've been taking dd fairly regularly for several months but I've never really enjoyed it that much & have got to decide whether to carry on going as new term about to start and we have to pay for the whole term at the start. I never get much chance to speak to people as dd doesn't sit still so I'm constantly moving around after her. I've also been told it's good for socialising dd so I feel guilty about not going then although she's not old enough to be able to play properly with other children yet.

Jackstini · 03/01/2008 14:10

Wouldn't worry about it then Army. She'll be more bothered in a few months time - save something new for then

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