Sleep advice

[Halloweenbabyy]

My little one is 20m old and just can't seem to self sooth and go to sleep.
I've tried all of the stuff everyone seems to rave about from white noise to baby sleep spray's. A bath before bed doesn't help either. It really doesn't seem to matter much if she naps during the day or of she doesn't.
I'll start winding down for bed at around 5. She will have her meal roughly around 4:30, then she goes into the bath then the trauma starts.
We go to her room and she basically just does everything to stop herself from going to sleep, from flapping her arms around, scratching the bedguard, wriggling around ect.
It goes on like this until I've had enough of been sat in the dark with a singing toddler and take her into bed with me, at first I was okay with this, I seen it as the easy way out but it's starting to put a strain on my relationship with my husband. He's at work untill 7pm then he comes home and I'm in bed with the little one 😕
I would love another baby but I highly doubt it will ever happen at this rate.
My health visitor and GP have stated that she's 'very switched on, and wants what she wants'.
I don't want to do anything like cry it out, bit I'm willing on trying anything to help her sooth herself to sleep instead of constantly fighting it, she will be saying 'night night' whilst rubbing her eyes, then starts another round of 'wind the bobbin up'

How much is she napping? I’ve had two very switched on, wilful girls and it is tough. 5 is early for winding down to bed though
My 15 month old is now ( touch wood) sleeping through and her day looks like this
Up- 6:30-7am
Nap-11:30-1pm
Bed- 7:30pm
She basically needs tiring out and just one nap

Sounds tough. So what time are you actually putting her in the cot? 5 seems early for winding down perhaps she is not tired enough. My 22 month starts the bath/bed routine at 6:30.

The gradual retreat method can be a gentler sleep training method than controlled crying as you stay in the room. We did this when my son moved into the cot in his own room and it worked really well. If you google it it explains it

She is used to coming into your room so if you decide enough is enough that is totally fine but you need to be consistent and in time she will get used to the new routine. Good luck

@Notwithittoday

How much is she napping? I’ve had two very switched on, wilful girls and it is tough. 5 is early for winding down to bed though My 15 month old is now ( touch wood) sleeping through and her day looks like this Up- 6:30-7am Nap-11:30-1pm Bed- 7:30pm She basically needs tiring out and just one nap

Her naps vary. She can nap late morning or afternoon maybe 1-2 sometimes later.

She wakes up around 8am, I'm assuming because she doesn't go to sleep until 9/10pm.

I think I am doing shit at been a mum tbh! The TV is constantly on as background noise and she always plays on her own at home, I rarely get involved. I know I'm not wearing her out enough. But I have no idea what to do as far as play/entertaining her.

What time is she getting up and napping. Her bedtime may just be too early. In my experience 7 pm bedtimes only happen when they nolonger nap.

@Halloweenbabyy not a shit mum. It’s hard to get motivated when you’re worn out and touched out.
You need to reset things. I would wake her at 7 am even if she didn’t sleep until late. Try and keep her entertained until 11:30, hugs, snacks, cuddles on the couch whatever it takes. Then let her have a midday sleep no longer than two hours.Get her up and give her lunch. Fresh air in the afternoon, a tramp around the local park. Tea at 5. Bath and pjs at 6. Watch CBeebies until 7, upstairs, cuddles, book and in her bed.