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Parenting

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Original poster

Help with getting an almost 4 year year old to poo on the toilet

15 replies

gvm123 · 23/02/2022 22:03

My son will be 4 in April, since we started toilet training he’s only ever done a poo on the toilet about twice.
He’s over a year in and absolutely fine for going to pee independently but I just cannot get him to sit on the toilet for a poo.
He isn’t constipated and passes normal stool but he will happily do this in his pants and then just ask me to change him, even if he’s just sat on the toilet not long before.
He still wears a pull up as isn’t dry overnight but will poo in this in the morning and also when it is out on at night before bed. I really want to try and help him crack this sooner than later looking to try anything that helped for others! Thank you 😊

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Shmithecat2 · 23/02/2022 22:04

Have you tried any bribes?

Shieldingending · 23/02/2022 22:10

You might already do this but when he’s soiled his pants does he see you put the poo into the toilet? I worked with children who struggled with this and we always make a point of showing them that’s where the poo has to go

MaddyMagellan · 23/02/2022 22:11

Get him to sit on the toilet regularly with something simple to do that he enjoys like a notebook to draw in or his favourite picture book.

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Families General health General parenting Potty training

MaddyMagellan · 23/02/2022 22:14

There's also a really funny app that helped my son enormously called Poo Goes to Pooland.

NrlySp · 23/02/2022 22:15

Google Poo goes to Pooland. Worked a treat with my DS. We read it while he sat on the toilet.
Otherwise does he poo at set times? If so pop him on the toilet around those times with something to do. Or just have a chat.

cheeseismydownfall · 23/02/2022 22:15

It might we worth a chat with the GP to rule out any underlying issues. Assume there aren't, and he he just doesn't want to for some reason, this is what we did.

I wanted to create a situation where he wanted to do it himself, with absolutely no encouragement or nagging or anything from me. I went to pound land and bought a dozen or so cheap little toys, wrapped them up, and put them in a basket by the toilet. I didn't say a word about them. As you'd expect, it didn't take him long to find the basket and ask what it was. I casually explained, oh, those are potty presents. They are for people who poo in the toilet (ridiculous I know). Didn't say anything else.

It worked within a couple of days.

I think the trick was taking the conflict out of it and making him feel that he was making the choice.

mussinboots · 23/02/2022 22:17

Chocolate coins worked for us. As did a jar of smarties.

cheeseismydownfall · 23/02/2022 22:19

Sorry, that might not have been clear - he got a present every time he had a poo in the toilet.

I think when children are young it helps to have an incentive that is immediate and right there in front of them, rather than something abstract (like "do this for a week and then we will have a special treat")

addictedtotheflats · 23/02/2022 22:22

Watching with hopes theres a solution for my DS. He is younger than yours (3 in april) and although being wee trained since september he will not use the potty/toilet to poo. Weve thrown soo many underpants away!!

KaptainKaveman · 23/02/2022 22:24

I used to tell my two that it was time to give the toilet its food and drink. When it was thirsty we had to do a wee , and if it was hungry we had to do a poo.

lancslass17 · 23/02/2022 22:39

Might be daft but does he have a step, sometimes it helps to be in right position, little legs can't push if they can't reach the floor

BreadInCaptivity · 23/02/2022 22:59

OP there was a similar thread quite a while ago. Apologies I've searched but can't find it.

Upshot a poster who claimed to work in this field gave some really good advice (obviously I can't verify they had the credentials they claimed).

From memory the first thing is to see the GP and rule out any medical issues.

However the most important observation made (imho) was the detrimental impact of pull ups on potty training.

Yes, to parents they save a lot of mess/effort but by design they disrupt the very cues by which children learn to toilet train.

Rather than feel wet/cold/smelly and learning to dislike that and use the toilet they mask the sensations make soiling normal or even preferable.

Even just using them at night in older children reinforces the "comfort" that toileting is not a necessity whether liquid or solid and thus can have daytime ramifications.

Upshot was you need to bite the bullet and get rid of the pull ups.

Shmithecat2 · 23/02/2022 23:37

@mussinboots

Chocolate coins worked for us. As did a jar of smarties.

Similar - we used mini eggs. 1 for wees, 2 for poos.

millytint44 · 23/02/2022 23:41

Do his legs dangle when he's sitting on the loo? It's uncomfortable for little ones to sit like this for long, so maybe a step to rest his feet on.

Also, lots of 'big boys do poo in the toilet not in their pants' type affirmation. Sticker charts?

Thethingswedoforlove · 23/02/2022 23:45

Poo goes to pooland works for my dd too when she was a v similar age

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