Baby doesn’t sleep! Trying to get him used to his crib :/

[MissABW]

Hi everyone!

I’d love some sleep help! Our baby just doesn’t seem to sleep. He’s 17 weeks and I read that he should sleep 12-17 hours per day (around 5 hours of this being naps) but he is getting more like 8 hours in total.

He goes to bed around 10.30 and is awake by around 6.15, with at least two feeds.

For naps, we have no routine: I generally take him for a walk around 11 and he might sleep for up to 2 hours. Then he’ll get very tired and fuss all evening but I can only manage to get him to sleep briefly on my lap when feeding. If I tried to “put him down” for a nap with a routine etc, he would just cry and I can’t leave him.

In the evenings, things were ok and he would sleep a couple of hours at a time but only in his bouncer! He never liked the Moses basket and now we’re trying to get him used to his next to me crib and he hates it! (It’s in the lounge next to the sofa so the “off duty” parent can get some sleep in the bedroom). We do a mini bedtime routine, he’s in a sleep sack and I feed him to sleep but he’ll last an hour max, sometimes only 10/20/30 mins before crying! He just wriggles and his arms flail and he panics when he realised he’s in a massive crib rather than his cosy bouncer. He’s also impossible to put in it without him waking up, even though I try to wait until he’s in a deep sleep, but someone I manage by holding his arms until he settles. He doesn’t stop crying if you put a hand on his chest etc. Please help! I so want me and my partner to be able to share a bed again with the crib next to our bed but for us to get a few hours sleep each night so we can function. I keep hoping it’s the 4 month sleep regression and that it’ll stop magically one day but it’s probably wishful thinking.

Thank you!

He's only having one nap a day? If so he's massively overtired and it's likely having an impact on his nighttime sleep (as well as all the other issues that come at 4mo). I'd try and get a nap schedule sorted - you'll likely not be able to get him in a cot but he needs frequent naps throughout the day, even if they're short. I didn't use it but the huckleberry app gets a lot of praise on here.

Neither of my two liked the next2me, DC2 refused to sleep in it. Can you fit the cot in your room and see if that helps?

Time for a routine to help you all.

Easiest to think of it as a rhythm to the day at the moment rather than a set timetable.

Start by waking up, feeding and getting him dressed at the same time each day. I did 7am for mine. I'd wake before that and have my shower etc while they dozed / slept.

Then it was out in the pram by 9am. We'd go to a group or shop or park or anything that was a walk. It was easier with my second as I had to take eldest to nursery / preschool, but same principle.

That should give them a morning nap for an hour or so.

After your lunch, up into his room. Close the curtains and say it's sleep time. Sleep sack on, feed and in the cot. Sit right next to him and hold his hand. Scroll through Mumsnet while he goes to sleep. Gradually over the next few weeks move further away until you can just put him down and leave him to nap.

Then bed time at the same time each day.

Keep it up as consistentcey is key. You'll soon find that he will have adapted this rhythm and he will be tired at nap times and ready to go to sleep.

Oh and he's old enough now to be put to bed in his room and cot for the evening. So bed at 7pm and you and your partner have your evenings back. Then bring him into your bedroom at 10 or whenever he feeds / you go to bed.

Thank you all for your responses! I do want a routine but I’m not sure how to put him down for a nap when he just cries!

At that age his wake window is 1.5 to 2 hours. So if he wakes up at 7, I would go for your walk at 9. If he wakes up after that nap at 10, you’d be walking again at 12. I would do that for every nap during the day for a couple of days to reset him, as he must be very overtired. I would also give up on the crib until you have a good schedule going. It’s normal and fine for babies that age to nap on someone. They change as they grow and then you can try the cot again.

To start with his naps could be in pram to get into the routine then when he’s getting more sleep gradually try and use cot. Rough guide would be 7am wake, 9-9.30 start nap. Another nap about 2.5/3 hours after first ends? Bed at 7pm. Baby sounds massively overtired.

If a fixed routine with timings doesn't suit you just go on awake time. If he wakes at 6:30 he'll be ready for another sleep within 2 hours. Do the nap however works best - pram walk, car, bouncer etc. Record the time he wakes from this nap and note that his next nap will be 2-3 hours later. Keep doing this until proper bedtime.

As he gets a bit older he'll be able to have an earlier bedtime and you can get your evenings back! Things will improve, good luck.

Hi OP, my baby is 17 weeks too. We don't have a fixed routine either but I try to make sure he naps at least every 2 hours. The first nap of the day is an hour and a half after waking up. It's much harder to get him to sleep if I miss this window.