If you have or are thinking about 4 or more, how old were/will you be for last baby?

[timeisnotaline]

And did you have rough pregnancies/births, and experience any higher risks? I’m cuddling my newborn 3rd and I thought I’d be done but serious baby blues at this being last baby. But I’m nearly 39 so would be getting old, I don’t think I could handle a special needs baby as a 4th with 3 others to look after, I do not want twins, I am miserable in pregnancy, I work full time, and of course the money situation . Tell me your story!!

Getting old as far as having babies goes to be clear (my obstetrician is pretty clear on that point ) i am not calling 40s old!

1st 3 good vb's. 4th term pregnancy was a failed coil and twins, I was 30 when they were born. We hadn't ruled out more but wanted a bit bigger gap really as 2 & 3 were only 16.5mth apart. Pregnancy was tough but they were 17lb combined so I was huge, had spd and dh broke his leg when I was 26wk. Breech and transverse so elcs at 38wk which was better than I expected, did have bad back/hips/core but repaired with hard work in the gym. We had 2 miscarriages and then 6th at 37, I was weightlifting up to 35+2 with her. Laboured over 20 hours at 38+6, scar rupture due to her size (10lb 15oz) and c-section. Was a much rougher recovery as I'd lost a lot of blood and had a lot more pain but I got back to doing household stuff as soon as home (3 nights in hospital) and was in the gym lifting at 10wk pp. She's 6 months now and an absolute delight, she makes me want more. I've been put under consultant 2nd onward due to growing little giants.

I have 4.
My first 2 were easy enough. First was ventouse, but an OK birth. 2nd was straight forward. Then we have a 10 year gap as I knew I wanted another but wanted to wait.
My last 2 were born when i was 38 and 40. My 3rd was a wonderful birth. The type that you really don't think exist. My 4th was eventful. She was breach so had a failed evc manouver. Cancelled planned Cs as she turned on the day it was scheduled. 2 failed inductions. And failure to proceed once my waters broke. Ending in an emergency cesarean.
I am older and have less patience and energy this time round but I wouldn't change a thing.
After I had my 3rd we decided not to use any contraception at all as we knew our chances of another were not as high as a younger person.

Wow. That’s pretty supermumming @Chely and 10lbs too . How on earth did you look after the others while recovering from birth?
I really love the sound of that@missnevermind its just career and finances and risk levels…

I’ve been low risk (well bar my fatness) and had my 3 at 21, 23 and 27. I’m thinking of #4 before I’m 30 - no real reason I just think the gap will be small enough to ‘get it over with’ 🤣

But I’m the same as you, 3 perfectly healthy babies with no additional needs, normal vaginal births. I’ve not had miscarriages and conceived pretty much as soon as we decided to try - not saying this as a stealth boast but giving my mindset.

How can I risk this again? What if baby is a still born or a late miscarriage or a C-section (after my bits have been chopped with my 3 already) or a preterm or disabled or additional needs - why am I debating this?

It’s SO hard. Also I have 3 of the same sex and I was a bit depressed when I found out with DC3 (didn’t realise I felt that strongly) so I don’t want to feel like that again. I wouldn’t find out the sex this time though.

Anyway, haven’t decided BUT it feels like a lot to gamble on. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do for our family. I love, love my children but also work full time and it’s a lot…

@timeisnotaline my husband was home for 8 weeks so helped out with bath times, driving stuff. He kept telling me I was doing so much but he didn't do things right (my OCD way) so I just couldn't not do stuff, I did pay with pain but it passed.

@3rdBorn you don’t have any age risk factors, I’d be pretty tempted! Although you’ve done very well to work full time- my choices were career first and I didn’t have my first child until 32. Which is why 40 is looming now and the increased risk that goes with that. It’s a juggle.

I had my third and fourth at 27. All premature. 1st and dts I had placental abruptness and were forceps births. No bloody more, literally

36 for my 4th pregnancy and the only risk was they were twins

Last 2 at 37 and 42. Got pregnant very easily. Enjoyed the pregnancies as much as when I had dc younger
.
Had the last one at 35 weeks by emcs due to 2 blood clots but was assured weren't age related just bad luck.
Was pressured into tubal tie but refused and received an apology on behalf of the hospital for the coercion...

I have 4, my last one was emcs as was number 3. I was 28 when I had my 4th. I was a single parent with my 4th from pregnancy and it was ok, hard but ok. No more for me.

6, first at 19, last at 32. I can’t imagine where you all find the energy at 40 or older especially with toddlers!

4 DC & all pretty straightforward births... I was 40yo for last.
But I couldn't work FT or PT and have lots small children. Beyond me.

Slight different thought, I’m one of 4. My parents loved me but didn’t and still don’t have enough attention for us all.

@Bringonsummer19 it’s a fair point but dh and I both come from larger families and it worked for us, our parents did a great job.

Hi op. I planned 3, but I had my 4th baby at 43 (nearly 44) as an unplanned (but very welcome) baby. My 4th pregnancy was actually my easiest of all of them. He was a slightly smaller baby (others were 9 or 10lbs) and so I was more comfortable and more active and didn't gain nearly as much weight as I did with the others. I had an elective section, as previous births had been c sections also, and it was easy and straightforward.