How can partner help at night?

[bedtimesleep]

I have an ebf newborn and a toddler that thankfully is sleeping through the night just now. My partner is great at looking after toddler during the day but doesn't help with baby at night. I've suggested that he could give baby a bottle or resettle him after I feed but he doesn't think these are reasonable options as he "can't be tired" looking after an energetic toddler during the day.
So do I basically just need to suck it up and get on with the nights myself? And just count myself lucky I've help during the day? Or are there other options I'm just not thinking of? We are both off work just now so that doesn't factor in.

He needs to deal with a toddler and tiredness. Is he on paternity leave? What’s going to happen when he goes back to work and you’ve been up all night and have to deal with the toddler? - you’re just going to have to it.

I'd just get on with it tbh. My dh did help out with nights early on because I'd had a c-section (inc scar rupture and heavy blood loss) so was slow to get up, as I healed up I was up and gone with baby and he didn't stir. I didn't see much point both of us being up at all hours. He went back to working away at 8 week so I had to do everything for 6 and a dog from then anyway.

My DH couldn’t function during the day if he’d been up at night. So I did all night stuff with second and he did ALL day stuff with toddler (obviously I got some playtime!), washing, cooking etc. so I could nap during the day. It worked. We were both shattered at the end of the day…

Ok, thanks. I needed to hear that from someone who wasn't my partner as I couldn't tell if I'm being unfair or not. I really struggle with lack of sleep but looks like I just need to power on x

If he’s exclusively looking after the toddler all day, and you the newborn, then it seems you’re splitting it 50/50. You could try swapping, so you do the toddler during the day and he does the newborn at night? Just mix it up for a few days?

I think your partner could help more with the newborn.

Generally, I’m in charge of our baby and my partner is in charge of our toddler but we do swap things round - I seemed to get all the horrible nappies over the weekend 🤔 . The toddler is in nursery 4 days a week though and I have both of them on an Friday.

I do most of the nights with the baby but, if I’m struggling, my partner will help from 5:30am a couple of times a week. Usually that means winding and cuddling the baby if he doesn’t want to go back into the cot. My partner works full time so I don’t want him to be exhausted but he’s not operating heavy machinery or anything like that so it won’t hurt. He sleeps in the spare room so gets uninterrupted sleep the rest of the time.

Maybe he can give newborn a bottle say around 10:30 - 11pm ish or do the 5-6 am bottle if you need a bit more sleep.

My DH did this when DS was born and we had DD (5 & at school) to look after....

he doesn't think these are reasonable options as he "can't be tired" looking after an energetic toddler during the day.

Oh bless poor tired man. Presuming he's on pat leave how does he think you're going to cope being up all night with a baby and then looking after both of them once he's back in work? Yeah, he can get up and give you a hand.