Anyone have a toddler who grabs faces?

[Lilowkoalabear]

Name change here.

DD is 2 and a half. She was a covid baby and we have vulnerable family members so admittedly we didn’t mix for ages, but she’s been at nursery for a few months now so I feel there should have been improvements with how she interacts with other children. Her way of communicating is grabbing and touching other children’s faces. Sometimes it just surprises them and sometimes it actually hurts them. She does it all the time and we always do the same thing where we stop her, remove her and say ‘kind hands’ all positively and show other ways to communicate like waving. She still does it though and sometimes laughs!

It’s started to worry me as I don’t see other children doing it as much as her. Nursery say they are taking the same approach but agree it is a problem there too. I’m hoping it’s just a phase but wondered if anyone else has had it :(

She seems to get very overexcited so it’s more like a tactile and overly friendly action as opposed to her trying to hurt anyone. Sometimes she will just stand very close and stroke their arms if she can control herself it seems! Is there anything else we can do?

Other children do seem a bit unnerved by it! Admittedly it’s only started since she started nursery.

Hey, just wanted to say my 20mo does exactly the same at nursery, it’s horrible to hear she does it and we haven’t found a solution that works/stops it yet. We show her how to be kind to friends and praise all the kind behaviour and it rarely happens outside of nursery but I’m so sad it happens so much in there :-(

It's horrible isn't it! My DC1 did this (and worse), but it lessened at 2 years 9 months when they do a massive development leap and now it's just a distant memory with an occasional poke to family faces.

It’s reassuring to hear other toddlers do it and grow out of it (I know she will eventually it’s just hard to see it!).
I just wish they got to see how kind she can be as well x

Completely normal. Just continue what you are doing and it will stop. Just tell people not to put their faces close.

What do you mean tell people not to put their faces close? She's doing it to other kids who are (fairly) unnerved. Obviously the OP is trying to stop it but the it's nnormal school or thought is so selfish.

My daughter is the same age as yours and is unfairly manhandled all the time. Nursery staff are great but other parents seem completely content to just say sorry but make no attempt to stop their kids face palming her, or shoving her over. She's also smaller which doesn't help. It's constantly my responsibility to say it's fine and soothe her.

I always apologies and then show my little girl ‘this girl is sad now because you hurt her face, can you use your kind hands to say sorry’ and then she gives a high 5 or a hug. She totally understands she shouldn’t be doing it and as her parent I am the responsible adult to show her this too - it must be horrible for the other parent to see their child hurt!

Hi!! I am currently in the same boat with my 2 year 5 month old son. It has gotten so bad, and our nursery has in a way shamed my son for it. I decided to pull him from nursery, and my heart is breaking. I wonder all the time why he does it, I feel like I am failing as a mother. I stumbled across your post and I am just desperate to find out if anything has helped or changed for you guys? Has it gotten better? Everyone says its something he will grow out of but it just seems to be getting worse, I'm at a complete loss at what to do. We often don't do things anymore because I know his interactions with other kids do not go well and I am mentally drained💔

Feel free to pm me. Have you spoken to health visitor?

Keep trying I know it’s so hard

Hi there! I have a 2.5 yo son who is displaying exactly this! It is comforting to know I’m not alone in this. I had to sign an incident report at his daycare because he grabbed another students face and hurt the student. We have been demonstrating “gentle hands” and reminding him that “hands are for… hugging, waving, high fives…” and praising him when he demonstrates gentle, loving hands. He seems to grab faces when he’s overly excited. He never does it when he’s upset so I don’t think he’s being g malicious. It has lessened at home, but has been worse at daycare. Please tell me your kiddos have grown out of this and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Hi there! I know it’s an old post but here to say I’m in the same boat with my 20month old. He does it when he is really excited a kind of an impulse he can’t control and it is not great. I always feel so ashamed towards other parents and we have been avoiding play dates with our friends because of this.

Im so sorry. This was years ago for me. My child is now at school with an autism and adhd diagnosis. It’s actually a good thing as now everyone understands. It also means he’s probably a sensory seeker and very tactile. This can also be a good thing. But talk to health visitor. Remember it is not his fault and he is just trying to learn.