Pregnancy social services !

[Charls338]

I am 37 weeks , I have had previous issues with the father (now ex partner) I have been told there has been a referral to social services , this was when I was 25 weeks . I haven’t heard of them about anything and my midwife hasn’t mentioned anything .
I’m worried there going to turn up at the birth as I’ve read online a pre-birth assessment would be done 😫
Any advice ???

I used to be a midwife and have worked extensively with social services. I have never ever worked with a mother where social services turned up to remove a baby without the Mum already being aware of pre Ruth assessments. Not ever,

If you’ve been referred then my guess is they have filed it away and not seen it as a priority or just made a decision to close it immediately.

It’s not what you consider fair that is important here. You need to stay complete away from him.

Yes, the child IS innocent which is WHY you need to keep their abuser as far away from yourself and your child as possible, or prepare to have SS up your ass at every moment and rightly so.

Get a grip.

Sorry but how do you know he is an “abuser” I haven’t mentioned specifically what went on

@Charls338

Sorry but how do you know he is an “abuser” I haven’t mentioned specifically what went on

SS are generally only involved if there is an abusive relationship.

But sure, crack on seeing him regularly under the guise of hospital appointments (which he does not need to attend, most men don’t) and the birth.

What were the 'issues'? Was there an argument? Was there police involvement? Drugs or alcohol? If social services feel he puts you at risk in any way they'll expect you to stay away to protect your baby.

I would call and ask what's happening and at least you'll know and you can prepare.

“Only”? Please don’t comment as you don’t know what your talking about ! Mental health issues could also cause involvement! stop being such a cow and take your negative energy elsewhere 👍🏽

@Charls338

Are you a professional? what if the outcome of pre-birth assessment was for removal at birth? Would I be told . Really appreciate the replies it helps a lot 🙂

They can't do an assessment without your participation. It's literally impossible that they could have done an assessment and be planning to remove your baby without you knowing. Also they have to apply to court to remove a baby. You'd have a lawyer and be represented at court.

@RedCandyApple

Visiting after birth can happen if the hospital refers to us and it's urgent. I've been to hospital to see a mum and new baby. But this was because serious presenting issues arose AT hospital not because I was doing a pre birth assessment.

The reason why I didn’t want to post too much is because people normally make out like everyone is lying on here when they post about ss saying you must not be telling the truth, but I did not see a midwife throughout my pregnancy. I’m not defending that I had depression and anxiety so didn’t see a midwife for my whole pregnancy so when I turned up at the hospital they called social services on me without informing me which was fair enough but I didn’t appreciate not being told and being visited at hospital and being visited me on the ward in front of other people, I didn’t even know they could do that. It wasn’t a pre birth assessment I don’t think as the case was closed after I made a complaint and they sent a different social worker out to visit me at home who the closed the case that day.

I'm sorry that you went through this but yes, a concealed pregnancy would always result in a social work referral and often a visit while you're in hospital. That's not what the OP is talking about though.

@Charls338

“Only”? Please don’t comment as you don’t know what your talking about ! Mental health issues could also cause involvement! stop being such a cow and take your negative energy elsewhere 👍🏽

It isn’t negative energy, it’s cold hard fact OP.

Must be some serious MH issues because I’ve been under a Psychiatrist for 3 years and have yet to have SS involved.

I also said “generally only” - there’s very other reasons that they get involved BEFORE a baby is born.

Very few*

OP, if you are not with the father now, that will work in your favour for any assessments etc.
However nobody but SS can tell you what they did after getting the referral, so you will need to contact them and ask.

Who told you they had done a referral? The hospital/midwife?

You need to start prioritising your baby now and not your ex. If you can’t make good choices now SS won’t be reassured that you will once the baby is born.

You were referred to SS following the relationship with the baby’s father. You split which is good, you are taking it seriously but…. He’s going to be at the birth?

This is a difficult one without knowing the facts but I know someone who was seeing a partner who was in trouble with the police , had history of abuse and had made threats to the pregnant mum and her family . He also wanted to be part of the babies life. Social services told her that unless she cut him out of hers and the babies life the baby would be taken away . So there was NO away he was allowed to appointments or at the birth . So I think you need to think hard about this .

Depending on the back story, I'd expect a mum to take out a restraining order out on a man, not invite him to the hospital.

BTW do not give your baby his surname.

I think we need to know whether the ex is any part of the reason for SS involvement. If he is then he should be as far away as possible. The last thing you want is ‘failure to protect.’

So a neighbour of mine did literally lose custody in the delivery room she had her baby (girl) they came in told her that her partner had a massive history abusing girls specifically and she could either leave with her child to a safe space or go home with her partner and go through the process she trusted the process believing he was innocent and lost her child permanently (in the end I've obviously simplified it)

She knew nothing about his history prior to giving birth and was told if she had a child of the opposite sex she would never have been told

So yes it does happen

This is probably fairly easy for you to find out, OP- just contact SS and ask them about your particular circumstances. Ask them exactly what you need to do for them to be satisfied that your baby is safe, and then do exactly that.
This isn't the time to worry about being fair to anyone except your baby. If SWs can see that you are able to protect your child and are keen to take their advice on board, then all should be well.

"Ask them exactly what you need to do for them to be satisfied that your baby is safe, and then do exactly that."

^^This.