Anyone else breastfeeding a toddler and over it?

[strawberrycheesecake1989]

Just that really. I have a 17mo and I literally try and spend most of the day outside because otherwise if we’re at home all day he just wants to nurse for 10 seconds, pull off, taking my nipple with him and then 2 minutes later go for it again. If I say no he has a tantrum….

Im just so over breastfeeding.

He also wakes up and feeds loads during the night.

Want to nightwean but maybe that won’t improve the sleep…

He has no ‘breastfeeding manners’ and today I just really feel so over breastfeeding….

Anyone else?

I ebf from birth to 4! Yes 4! I had such hostility over it but only from family. Other mums were great and the bf support group loved it. But yes after 4 years it was really wearing. I tried expressing and bottles but neither thing worked for us. DS was exactly the same as yours. The nipple was a dummy for him and he named it "moo"! In the end he stopped of his own will. I never force weaned. I look back at those days with fondness but also sadness at the negativity I suffered as a result of my choice to continue.

I fed both of mine until they were 3 and a half ish.

I'd definitely had enough with my first after the 3yr mark and made sure I'd night weaned and milk was only for breakfast and before bed and only when sitting in a certain armchair. It introduced some rules/etiquette around it and meant we all knew what to expect. Both then self weaned.

Night weaning is the answer. It really helps.

I breastfed DC1 until shortly after his second birthday but night weaned before that, have recently night weaned DC2 (who is also 17mo, coincidentally) and happier to BF during the day.

Do you work at all? That helps too. I work 3 days a week and DC obviously only feeds morning and evening those days.

Oh and at risk of pointing out the obvious, if you don't want to breastfeed on demand all day long, just say no and ride out the tantrums.

Yes, at times. I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old. I have recently been feeling like a bit of a slave to it. Similarly to you, it can be hard work being home. If she wants it, I find it impossible not to give in with the meltdowns that ensue.

However, we've just turned a corner about a week ago. One day, she was being looked after by grandparents and went the whole day from morning feed all the way to 5 feed without any issues. I thought I may as well see if I could do the same the following day, and we did! I kept her busy and out of the house. Then the following day, I managed to do the same again but staying at home. I do whatever it takes to keep her distracted (cbeebies, snacks I know she likes and keeping her topped up with food all the time). Now it's been a week since we dropped that feed. May not sound that much of a big deal but I thought dropping feeds would be impossible.

I also thought night weaning would never happen. I tried a few times and my dd was just distraught and it wasn't worth the upset. She ended up sleeping through by herself.

This is all just to say that I've been where you are, feeling hopeless and like this is it for the foreseeable. However, things can improve.

There's a support group called 'breastfeeding 12 months and beyond' on Facebook that is a good resource.

My 16 month old is only allowed to feed first thing in the morning and after his bath before bed time now. Night weaning has helped an awful lot!!

@NameChange30

Night weaning is the answer. It really helps.

I breastfed DC1 until shortly after his second birthday but night weaned before that, have recently night weaned DC2 (who is also 17mo, coincidentally) and happier to BF during the day.

Do you work at all? That helps too. I work 3 days a week and DC obviously only feeds morning and evening those days.

Oh and at risk of pointing out the obvious, if you don't want to breastfeed on demand all day long, just say no and ride out the tantrums.

Can I ask how you night weaned?

I bought Amy Ockerall-Smith’s gentle sleep book because it has a gentle approach to night weaning whereby the first night every time they wake up you need to try and comfort them and get them back to sleep without the boob. If after 5 minutes nothing is working you then breastfeeding. Next night is 10 min delay, and it increases by 5 mins each night to a max of 30 mins.

It just didn’t work. He just became completely hysterical. Think actually what might be best to night wean is to just go cold turkey and he sleep in a bed with my husband. Just don’t have the heart to do it but tbh the lack of sleep is so bad that I’m starting to think I should just do it

@roarfeckingroarr

My 16 month old is only allowed to feed first thing in the morning and after his bath before bed time now. Night weaning has helped an awful lot!!

Can I ask how you night weaned too ?

Do you mean Sarah Ockwell-Smith? I'm not a fan. Bought her book when I was on my knees with sleep deprivation (undiagnosed reflux and cmpa) and it was about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Some people swear by her, of course.

I did try the Pantley pull off (no cry sleep solution) but it didn't work.

A child psychologist friend recommended cold turkey. It was tough but worked quickly.

I just stopped. I feed him in the living room before going in to his room, rocking him with lights off then settling him in his cot. He tends to wake up around 1/2am and I go in, give him a cuddle then back in cot, pat him to sleep, then leave. When he wakes up around 6.30 I bring him into bed and feed him then. He got used to it in a couple of days.

I night weaned with a grow clock. When it was 'asleep' I said he couldn't have milk. It was about 3 bad nights of being upset and he got the hang of it. But the first week I only put it to 'asleep' for a 2-3 hour slot from 11-1ish. Once he'd got the hang of alseep clock = no milk, then I extended the time in half an hour increments. It dramatically improved his sleep.

I'm so done with day feeding now but he's not ready. WFH doesn't help as I don't get to swan off to work while he's waking up and I'm usually at home for bedtime too. So I'm 'on tap'

@Carbiesdreamhouse

I night weaned with a grow clock. When it was 'asleep' I said he couldn't have milk. It was about 3 bad nights of being upset and he got the hang of it. But the first week I only put it to 'asleep' for a 2-3 hour slot from 11-1ish. Once he'd got the hang of alseep clock = no milk, then I extended the time in half an hour increments. It dramatically improved his sleep.

I'm so done with day feeding now but he's not ready. WFH doesn't help as I don't get to swan off to work while he's waking up and I'm usually at home for bedtime too. So I'm 'on tap'

That's genius!

Just stop if you're over it. You don't have anything to prove. Go cold turkey and be done. You might have a couple of rough days but it will soon be behind you.

Yes me!!! My two year old is sort of weaning now, he's also moved to his own bed but only in the past week or so! I had got to the point where he was making me feel claustrophobic 🤣 He now has boob just before bed and then goes down he still whines for booby during the night but he gives up pretty quickly and accepts some water instead. It's not been as traumatic as I thought it would be dropping the night feeds

Still feeding 3.5yr old, and it’s been totally fine because of BF etiquette and boundaries, after feeling a bit like you did with my first. I fed her til nearly 3 but it was harder. This one I night weaned quite early, just before 1, and always held the boundaries that worked for me. So if she tugged on nipple in a painful way etc, we had to stop. Yes a few tantrums but they soon learn what the rules are.

@NameChange30 it also meant I could blame the clock. We'd spend a good while settling him back to sleep bemoaning the bastard clock and how inconsiderate it was, but it wasn't mummy's fault, just the clock's.

I was the same with my daughter OP. I fed her until she was just over 2 years but night weaned a few months before stopping completely. At that point she was up 2 or 3 times, would have a 10ish min comfort feed then go straight down easily. To night wean her I cut the feeds shorter by 30 seconds every couple of days and eventually she just stopped waking up for them. It took a few weeks but no tears so might be something you are able to try.

It is really hard when they are at you all the time. You begin to feel so touched out and I developed such strong breastfeeding aversion. I'm feeding my 4 month old now and planning to set my own boundaries a lot earlier than I did first time round, things such as feeding in one dedicated space, only at specific times etc.

[quote Carbiesdreamhouse]@NameChange30 it also meant I could blame the clock. We'd spend a good while settling him back to sleep bemoaning the bastard clock and how inconsiderate it was, but it wasn't mummy's fault, just the clock's.[/quote]
I do love the gro clock but never thought to use it for night weaning, you are such a genius.

Dc1 is nearly 5 and still has his gro clock but I need to get him something else so I can use the gro clock for DC2! (Seems silly to buy another, although maybe I should.)

You're allowed to stop as soon as you want! Yes he'll have a tantrum, but he's going to be doing that a lot over various things in the months and years to come so if nursing is making you miserable this might as well be one of them!! Make tomorrow your last day, warn him that it's going to be and remind him before he has his last feed that that's it. And then just stop, be kind but firm, distract as much as possible, but don't give in. It's your body, if you don't want it mauled about by your toddler you have the right to decide that.

You're in charge! Just go cold Turkey.

I found with both mine it was far easier to stop feeding during the day than night wean. You have so many distractions, other food and drinks, toys, other people, can go out and about... It allows you to establish some boundaries with breastfeeding and then eventually makes night weaning that not easier as they are already aware of those boundaries.