Am I mad to want a second child now?

[LettucesAndRoses]

Hello,

I'm hoping for some objective opinions as it's hard to be objective when baby fever hits!

DD is 16 months old and I just got my period back. Before having her, I sort of hoped to have a second one when she turned two or soon after so I'm glad it's now a possibility. Here are the pros and cons of TTC now:

Pros:
-I'm turning 36 soon so good not to wait too long, especially as there's early menopause in my family.
-I have got a very convenient, flexible way of working now which is not going to last forever.
-It would be nice for my DD to have a sibling close in age, I think.
-It groups the hard early years.
-Also gives a small window of opportunity if we decided we might want more than two.

Cons:
-DD is far from sleeping through the night and still breastfeeds a lot (my biggest concern, that she's not ready to share me)
-It's already hard enough having one!
-We live abroad and have no help from family or friends.
-My husband works a lot so it's mostly on me.

Are your DCs 24 months or so apart? How was it for you?

We have a 2 year 3 month gap between DD1 and DD2, we started trying when DD1 was 8 months old (!) but didn't fall pregnant second time until she was a little bit older than yours is now. Actually, the age gap has been perfect for us. Yes, difficult but I've been in bad sleep/nappies/always carting round a pram and nappy bag mode for a few years now and there is light at the end of the tunnel (DD1 is now in Reception and DD2 is almost 3.)

For me personally I didn't want to get one out of nappies/sleeping through/into school or whatever and then have to go all the way back to the start with a new baby. It was our preference to condense the early years and complete our family, then get on with enjoying them. They've got a lovely bond and I'm glad they're close in age.

Do it! I'm expecting my 2nd in august when my daughter will be 23 months. She also still breast feeds a lot and we too live abroad with no family help, so we're in similar situations!
My thinking is, everything is a phase at this age, there's been times my dd sleeps though, times she doesn't, times she breast feeds round the clock, and times she's not bothered. So by august time, I may be tackling a complete different set of challenges with dd than I am now, but there will always be challenges, with one or two!

Your list of pros sounds great, your cons will be short lived. It's a common age gap, and many people manage every day!

My husband is 18 months older than his younger brother and 3 years older than his youngest brother.
They're all very close as a result and my MIL is glad she had them all within a short period of time.

Mine are 24 months apart. It's brilliant. I wouldn't have wanted a bigger gap (would have liked a smaller gap, but it took a while to recover from the first birth both mentally and physically).