How does it get easier after the first year?

[Jellybel]

Hello - I'm a first time mum to an almost 11 month old and everything I've read on here says that baby's first year is super hard and then it gets easier after that. I'm having the worst couple of weeks with my boy who is suddenly waking multiple times a night to play (and sometimes stays up for 3 hours!) or scream (due to teething), won't nap or go down for the night without having to be rocked otherwise hysterical when put down in cot, having previously been a good eater is now spitting all his food out and having tantrums all the time! I'm back at work soon and this is giving me so much anxiety! So to motivate me can you lovely mums give me some motivation by telling me how things get better after the first year? Really need something to look forward to! x

My son is rising two and things I have enjoyed this year:

He understands much more now

Lovely to hear them say their first words and start to put them together

Great as they become more confident sturdier walkers

Can have more fun/shared jokes etc

Lovely to see them learning new skills - mine has just started jumping on two feet and is so pleased with himself

Tantrums can be a challenge but distractions (and snacks and tv) help.

If you share bed times wake times nap times etc myself or others may be able to offer some suggestions.

They sleep for longer, talk a bit so you know what they want before it turns into a tantrum, you can do more shared play rather than just you ‘entertaining’ them, they understand little phrases like ‘get your shoes’ or ‘mummy is going to the toilet’.

Language is key to it getting easier imo. Once they can communicate their frustration lessens and you can also explain things and manage expectations much more easily. I found that from 18mo on it becomes an utter joy so hang in there.

I've got three kids aged 2, 4 and 6.

It gets better in lots of different ways, when they can walk confidently it's so much easier and when they can talk it's about a million times better. They learn to occupy themselves which also helps - my three sat and played play doh for an hour yesterday, even the two year old doesn't need supervision for that now, so I could get on with other stuff.

The stuff gets less too - smaller prams and car seats and eventually no pram at all! No nappies and all that, makes it a lot easier to go out.

They also become proper people with opinions and thoughts and a will of their own so it gets harder too. The toddler phase can be tough if you get a wilful one! Then there are new dramas that come with school etc

So basically some stuff gets easier and some stuff gets harder but you get a lot more 'back' from a child than a baby, which I personally think makes a big difference.

I have a 19 month old and I am loving this stage. I struggled with the inbetweenie not quite a baby, not quite a toddler period quite a bit. DD was just frustrated that she couldnt do what she wanted to do physically I think. Now we can play together, shes totally got over the novelty of wanting to work everywhere so is quite content to sit in a pram. She likes to play with her toys, both with me and alone.
There are new challenges absolutely, but I dont find this stage quite so relentless.

I found it just gets better and better as my DS gets older for two reasons

One - he started sleeping much better. This made all the difference in the world

Two - he could start communicating with me more effectively. Don't get me wrong we've had a lot of tantrums over the years. But being able to communicate more made him a much happier little dude. I remember once when he was still quite little and he wanted the "green rounds" or the "green circles" complete with BIG hand gestures. I couldn't figure out what he wanted so I eventually asked if he could show me what he wanted. Led me straight to the tube of Pringles in the kitchen!
Oh, it really does keep getting better and better. The first time they sputter out "wuv you mummy" and all the little mistakes they make with their words. It's too adorable.
Mine has been telling me all about the "three mix awareness" he's doing at school. Eventually realised its phonemic awareness.
I still can't wait for the first school play!

I found the 12 month mark lethally hard, almost as hard as having a newborn. Was roughly 10-14 months for us. Most things you describe: permanently frustrated and angry, very picky with food and lots of separation anxiety at night.

It got a lot better when DS could confidently walk and understand what we were saying/start to communicate back. He started consistently sleeping through at 15 months and we’ve never looked back. His eating never improved to the level it was when he was ~ 9 months, but it’s a lot better.

I’m not going to lie, I don’t think it’s easier after 1 (DS is 21 months). There are still a lot of challenges. But so far I have found 1-2 less relentless and more enjoyable then 0-1. Most of my antenatal friends completely disagree with that though! I think a lot of it depends on what you enjoy in parenting.

Thanks ladies, it's so reassuring to see all this. Been very down for a few weeks now and very anxious about how I'm going to cope at work but this really helps. Also have to sort out stuff for nursery and his birthday and now is the worst time for all that at such an exhausting stage. Hats of to all you mum's who are able to look after your babies so well while still being able to do other nice to havs things like baking and leaving the house to go to baby groups etc...don't know how you manage it a.

@Butteryflakycrust83 - you've just explained so well exactly why I hate this stage....it's the the inbetweenie not quite a baby, not quite a toddler period!

@AliceW89 - and yes you're spot on too when you say the 12 month stage seems almost as hard as having a newborn.