Help! Single mum working full time

[Jgray84]

I'm new here ... and not sure how it all works, but here goes .... I'm a single mum to 4 ... my two eldest see their dad regularly and d enough to kinda look after themselves. But my 2 daughters are 6 and 8 ... their dad is useless only sees them every other Saturday from 10am til 5pm .... and that took me 2 years to getvthat contact from him (he's too interested in new family) always an excuse for not having over night stays ... we have been broke up over 4 years now, when he left I had to leave my job as I couldn't get childcare for nights or weekends, I got another job which is part time and just days and works around school times, perfect right?! .... but i hate it!! It's so boring and it's not a career or anything .... and with rising costs I feel I need to go back to full time work .... had an interview and I'm quietly confident I could get it ... but it's a full time managers position, would you take it if offered? I feel guilty about my children being with either a child minder or my eldest son could help, but I have no one else to help family or friends I am alone .... and obviously my girls father is no help looking after them or financially.... in 4 years I think he's donated £50 for uniforms. I havent got the job yet... and may not but I feel guilty ... I'm almost 38 and feel like I have nothing to show my children 😕... I want them to see that I can work and provide for them and that they can choose that path too if wanted, I just worry I won't be home enough.... I don't know what to do.

I would take it.
There's a lot of children who have wrap round care for school so their parents can work. It's fine.
Your doing this to better yourself and your children.
You'd be crazy not to.

There’s a few things here

First - you need their father to step up financially. Put in a claim!

Second is your job in boring - if you want a challenge then take it - you’ll find alternative ways to spend time with the children during evenings and weekends they’ll get used to it.

I have put in a claim .. believe me I have tried everything to get him to step up... but as he's self employed and doesn't pay his taxes he can't be traced apparently, child maintenance say he has to pay £7 a week and yes that's for both children .... he hasn't even done that. Iv even reported him for tax evasion ... literally cannot do anything else and it's so frustrating.

Omg yes my job currently is so very boring, I feel like my braincells are dying rapidly ... its killing me ... but pays and works round children which is why I took it .... but I just want better so maybe you guys are right I might be able to work around .... I just feel so guilty as my girls have little time with their dad too I don't want to desert them too 😫 xx

You aren’t deserting them. In reality they have little concept of time.

Also have a school hours job and if anything it’s made them more reliable on me!
They expect certain things because I’m home. Take this week, these lazy teens will expect me to be on tap for lifts and lunch etc - if they were home alone - and they are nearly adults, they’d have to think for themselves and sort themselves out.

This is why I’m looking for more full time work.

Unlike you the cost of childcare was prohibitive to me working full time - twins and an older one add up.

I'm almost 38 and feel like I have nothing to show my children
Christ it sounds like you’ve done an amazing job with them and finding work too despite your useless ex and basically being on your own with them. You’ve shown them your love, care and what it is to be a family despite getting no help from their father. You’ve also managed to work as well and put up with the boredom of the job in order to make sure you have time for them while they were very young. If you can get the new job and make it work thats fantastic but don’t underestimate how well you’ve been doing up to now!

Thankyou so much for your kind words .... its just mum guilt I think I dunno .... but if I get offered the job I thinking will take it and just try and work round things and around the children .... again thankyou x