Are toys shared or individual?

[GoldenGorilla]

We have two boys - 5 and 7 - with very similar interests and tastes.

They’ve always shared all the toys, except for a few special toys (like their favourite cuddly toys) which are individual.

But now there is an insane amount of squabbling about what counts as a special toy, and who got this exact piece of Lego for their birthday etc etc.

I could in theory divide all the toys up and give them separate storage areas although that would probably take a huge amount of arguing!

What does everybody else do to divide up/share toys?

Yes that’s a good shout about working out some new rules, thank you.

And yes you’re right they’re growing up! Just need to find a fair way to do things from now on.

Things that are birthday or Christmas presents or bought by someone with their money belong to them. We encourage them to share and play together and they do, but ultimately if it's given to you, it's yours.

Other stuff is bought to be communal. Sometimes Christmas gifts are given as a shared present, but also if we get second hand toys handed down or pick something up through the year i.e. when it isn't a birthday or Christmas that is just always communal.

Our DC are still only babies but our plan is that each maintains ownership of toys bought for them, but (with exception of their favourite teddy) they can both play with each other's toys, but they can each play with each other's toys.

It's about learning identity and autonomy.
They learn that some items have an owner, can be shared, but go back to the owner.
It's important that they have ownership over some items and that they learn to respect others' things, and they also learn to manage their own things.
If they feel that very little is theirs, they are being set up to allow others to take control of their things. This translates into adulthood. Will affect interaction socially and in work.
It's an important developmental stage.