To have a second?

[Jk24]

Ds almost 2. He was a much wanted and long awaited chlomid baby. I said I would never go through fertility treatment again (due to side effects) so if we decide to have another would only happen if we conceive naturally so no guarantee. My question is, is how much more difficult is it? I'm 32 so need to decide in the next couple of years. Ds isn't a great sleeper and always ill atm so needs a lot of attention. I'm always tired, work 4 days and dh works long hours. I really want ds to grow up with a sibling though... and I would like a bigger family although I feel blessed as it is... so confused on what to do

@Jk24

Ds almost 2. He was a much wanted and long awaited chlomid baby. I said I would never go through fertility treatment again (due to side effects) so if we decide to have another would only happen if we conceive naturally so no guarantee. My question is, is how much more difficult is it? I'm 32 so need to decide in the next couple of years. Ds isn't a great sleeper and always ill atm so needs a lot of attention. I'm always tired, work 4 days and dh works long hours. I really want ds to grow up with a sibling though... and I would like a bigger family although I feel blessed as it is... so confused on what to do

Hi OP. I have a 16 month old and am considering trying for a second soon. I'm also nervous about how difficult it may be with 2, and also don't know if this is too soon to split my time between 2 when my first is still little but I've always wanted a smaller age gap.

Hi @ablisha its a tough call isn't it? I want a sibling for ds but he's still so young and needs a lot of attention

2 is not that young. If you've had issues it could take a while so I would crack on now.
Our 1st was not the easiest we wanted a 2 year gap but ended up with a 5 year gap due to a couple of miscarriages in our early 20's.

@Chely the thing is my almost 2 YO isn't very independent yet as in co-sleeps a lot just so we can get sleep, isn't speaking much yet etc. I also didn't have the best pregnancy and birth, gestational diabetes, group b strep, emergency c section... so I guess I'm scared too. Were so indecisive but I don't want to leave it too long as I am 33 in a couple of months...

It sounds very difficult. But each situation and each child is different and so it’s hard to say. We found the adjustment difficult but not as hard as from having none to having one. But then our second has additional needs, so that probably doesn’t help. We had a five year gap though so at least the older child was that bit older.

I decided to stick at 1. Went through 2 years of fertility treatment to have DS then like you a tricky pregnancy and emergency section. I just don't want to do it again. Also being a Mum doesn't come as natural to me as I'd hoped. I'm a good mum to DS don't get me wrong but I know I couldn't be as good a Mum to 2 children as one.

If you want a second because YOU want another child to add to your family then great but if it's just to provide a sibling then that's not a reason on its own to bring another life into the world.

Thank you for your replies ladies. Definitely food for thought. I think ill wait another 12 months and see how we feel but if we don't have another were Definitely blessed with ds and feel very lucky to have him