Looking after 3 kids with big age gap

[Pear21]

Anyone got any tips for those winter days when we are stuck at home? And those days when we go out on a day trip please?

I have 3 dcs age 9, 7 and 2. The 9 and 7 year old bicker constantly.

Staying at home is tricky, those long afternoons after school is over seem endless. We usually go to the park but after that there’s not much else they can do together. The older 2 won’t really play board games together without me and the youngest throws the game peices or deliberately ruins their puzzles or crafts etc. they only thing they can really do together is crafts (separate things) which the oldest says is now ‘boring’ or the playground. We have exhausted most games such as den making and role play etc in lockdown. We seem to be resorting to YouTube and tv more and more which I want to get away from.

If we go for a day out I’m usually at my wits end with them before we even get there. The bickering and crying in the car is very distracting for starters. The 2 year old still has a dummy mainly for car journeys because the older kids get upset with the crying etc. and the older 2 often argue in the car too.

We usually do have a nice day if we go to a farm or something but everyone usually wants to go in a different direction so it’s tricky. The eldest often quickly looks at each animal/thing and runs to the next thing. It’s hard to keep track of DC1 as will often dash off to see something else and be out of sight which is tricky in a busy place. Meanwhile the 2 year old would happily watch meerkats or whatever it is for 15 mins.

Then when someone needs the toilet I have to gather all three kids together and get them to the toilet which is usually miles away.

It seems like someone is always running off and/or crying. I can’t win.

They are brilliant kids but it’s absolutely exhausting and there is never ever a break from it. My OH is brilliant but can’t be around after school and most holidays due to work.

I feel bad that the older kids are missing out on attention because I’m always chasing after or playing with the toddler.

Any tips to help me keep my sanity during half term please?

Oh god I feel the same, I have a 10 year old 9 year old 7 year old and 4 year old, I find it tricky to find things that interest them all, oldest is getting too old for soft play, youngest is too young for other things and finds things like cinema/museums boring, she likes the playground but oldest gets bored of it quickly, days out are a nightmare, I’m a single parent so always on my own with them. It is hard work definitely.

That’s exactly it. You’ve hit the nail on the head.

Interested to hear any practical tips?

I’m watching your thread with interest and hoping someone comes up with some ideas! I have a 12yr, 8yr and just turned 4yr old and struggling with what to do with them all. I’m so tired of doing crafts and things when weather is bad. Days out end with me running around after 4yr old and oldest two left to their own devises 😟. One of them always seems to get bored whatever we do! I thought it would get easier as they all get older but definitely getting harder to manage now.

I felt the same ! Mine are a few years older now ( eldest in teens ) but it’s still hard to find activities for all. Swimming, but only if your pool has a smaller / shallow pool too was one thing they all liked to do and I could focus/ hold the smallest while the other 2 played nearby in water. Tiring tho ! Other than that, outings for cake / hot choc/ farms and playgrounds with different age range equipment. Not brilliant suggestions tho !!!

I have this gap, mine are in their 20s now, but I remember how difficult it was, especially swimming ( which had always been the go-to activity when I only had 2.)
I used to do quite a bit with other families, the older ones are fine in a park /woods or somewhere if they've got some mates with them, and if there are 2 or 3 9 yr olds, they can all go off together, if you are at a zoo or somewhere, even to the loo so long as they stay together.
In school holidays I used focus on keeping the big ones happy, because the baby always fitted in, and was quite happy doing anything so long as he was included. I did take the older 2 to tennis lessons in the park while the little one went on the swings, then they'd play together/have a picnic afterwards.
At home, I did use a playpen to keep the little one away from board games or lego so that the elder 2 could play uninterrupted, but that was limited timewise. Really it meant doing less with the big ones than I would have liked, but junk modelling for the younger 2 worked, and painting for all 3, with the little one strapped into a high chair so he couldn't cause too much trouble.
But the most helpful thing was inviting other kids over fairly frequently.
I would add, mine are all close now, which makes it all worthwhile!

Thanks some good suggestions here. I agree trying to keep the older 2 occupied is a good idea. They mostly want to do things like bowling, climbing etc which are totally unsuitable for the 2 years old.

I agree, going with other families is a good idea. However I’m finding that particularly during the school holidays my older kids friends parents have generally returned to work. I could possibly take another child with us on the day trip but it’s tricky, I’ve only got 1 spare seat in the car so whose friend do I take?

It’s great they could play with other kids their own age too but I feel sorry for them being left to their own devises for the majority of a trip out.

I do feel the older kids particularly DC1 misses out. Recently his friends mum was telling me all sorts of things he had been telling her about school, whereas he just says ‘I dunno’ or ‘I forgot’ to me. He also says since dc3 arrived his life changed a lot, for the worse though he does love dc3 too.

During term time we do have friends over in the week but often I find myself more frazzled looking after 4 or 5 kids on my own rather than 3.

Weekends we try to fill with clubs for the older 2 and a bit of family time thrown in otherwise the days seem very long if we are home all day.

I would definitely never take all 3 swimming in my own (is that even allowed, not sure?) but would do it with OH if possible.

Good idea on the baby pen though I think my youngest is past that stage, should have said toddler is closer to 3 years now than 2 years.

I’ll definitely try and find more friends to invite over but also the thought of yet more time spent in the house fills me with dread.

Fingers crossed for better weather this half term so we can get out more.