Managing two - is it just me?

[TedLife]

DS is 2.5 and DD is almost 7 months and I'm so ashamed to say I've hardly ever had the two of them alone. DS has nursery 3 days and grandparents one day a week and pre Xmas, DH took Fridays off so we were all together. Since Xmas I've booked DS into nursery on Friday until April, to get past the "needing to be held" phase that DD is going through - I figured when she is sitting properly and even crawling it may be easier to amuse her and him together.

Today because of the storm I've had both here alone and I am not coping. This is so hard and I've no idea how people do it. But so many people do it and I feel like such a shit mum that I haven't so far and I'm not coping.

Should also add that DD does not sleep, she's awake at least every 2 hrs but often every hour of the night and has been for 3 months now. I feel so sad that I'm too tired to plan fun nice things to do altogether.

Please tell me I'm not the only one?

I think the more you do it the more you get use to it, I’ve been on my own from the beginning (single parent no help) the more you do it you will just get use to doing it if you’re use to having a lot of help it will seem harder doing it alone

@RedCandyApple

I think the more you do it the more you get use to it, I’ve been on my own from the beginning (single parent no help) the more you do it you will just get use to doing it if you’re use to having a lot of help it will seem harder doing it alone

Exactly this! Everything is difficult until you get used to it. It's a really crappy day outside so I think most of us with babies/toddlers are going stir crazy! Deep breath. You've got this. If all else fails put the TV on . . .

I have a larger family now but have always said I have found 2 the hardest so you are not alone :)

You're definitely not a shit mum if you're worried! Honestly I think all mums of 2+ kids feel like zombies all the time when we don't have help! I know I do 😂. Don't feel bad about putting the tv on and letting the house get messy just camp out in the lounge with your babies all day, it's what I normally do

Why do you think you are not coping? Emotional and anxious and stressed? Basically if you are all alive and some of you have had some food, you are coping. You’re doing fine.

For me, I had a couple of months before I started to have regular time alone with both my children, because my parents and childminder were on hand, and it was a scary prospect when it eventually came. But you will find that you are able to do it even if it is very very tough along the way.

You're not the only one, it is difficult! Over time, you find ways to cope and the kids adapt their expectations as well! Having a routine to the day helps.

I've got a 3 year old and 6 month old and was bloody terrified the first few days I had them on my own after DH went back to work! So you are not alone in feeling this way.

Agree with pp that the more you do it the easier it is. You will feel more confident as you find ways to manage both at the same time and the DC will also get used to only have you there.

I find going out to to local parks in the morning helps. Youngest DC happy enough sitting in pram or if she gets fed up I wear her in sling for a bit. Buggy board on pram very useful for the 3 year old. Also I try to meet up with other mum friends and their kids and we all help each other out which makes things easier and much more fun.

It's difficult for anyone so don't worry that you don't see yourself as the supermum images fed to us.
Some days I only had a cup of coffee a day and the house looked like a herd of wildebeest had trampled through!
Don't be so hard on yourself - you will be fine. You are fine.

Those are really tough ages. You are doing brilliantly I’m sure. It really is just hard and will get easier as they get older. Probably a noticeable difference once the oldest turns 3 or thereabouts.
I have three, had 2 year then 3 year age gaps, 2 year gap is manic as the older one is still such a baby really.

And slings, swings, travel cots or playpens, dummies, and wrist straps are fine, if they help keep you and the dc's safe, secure and happy.

Ive got twins and a 5 year old and honestly it's just routine and "practice" - perhaps you've over relied on childcare a bit for the eldest instead of gradually upping the amount of hours you have them together that he gets used to sharing your time? Yes it's constant and relentless but as others have said the more you do it the more comfortable you will be and easier you'll find it

The thing is, it's not just you getting used to it, it's dc as well. Sometimes they'll have to wait. Keep practicing, and go out as much as possible then at least one dc is safely contained in a pushchair!

It's definitely terrifying and hard at first. But like others have said the more you do it, the easier it gets. You'll soon fine as your baby grows older both children will play so well together that you suddenly find you dont need to sit and play with them as much and you can get on with other things. My now dd and ds are 10 and 8 and they play so well together. My other dd is 10 months old and i worry she wont have anyone to play with. Hang in there it gets easier

I have 2 DS - 2.5 and 4 months. My partner has taken unpaid parental leave until April because I just wasn't coping. It's definitely not just you. It's feels hard because it is hard!