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Original poster

13 month old autistic?

28 replies

KP12 · 17/02/2022 10:10

Hi, I've recently been alerted to the fact my son still doesn't answer to his name.. I used to think he occasionally did but now I'm thinking he's more reacting to the tone of my voice rather than his actual name. He must have answered when he was a baby as I've always been a bit obsessed with the milestones. Speaking to a friend who has a son who has autism she mentioned that autistic children tend to climb a lot too which my son does but assumed that was just toddler boyish behaviour 🙈
He is a happy kid, plays peek a boo and claps hands to nursery rhymes. Puts his arms out to be picked up when he wants it but not yet pointing at things he wants which again I put down to the fact he just gets what he wants himself. He responds when I say no and if I ask him to come to me he will so I really don't know what to think. It's obviously not his hearing. He is not shy and will play with other children.

OP posts:
cheekychaplin · 17/02/2022 10:12

Babies climb.

Have you had his hearing checked?

Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 10:14

No not since he was born, but I don't think it's that as he hears my husband come in through the front door and instantly turns around and runs to the gate or if I open a packet of crisps while he's busy playing he's over like a dog 🙈😂

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 17/02/2022 10:15

How old is your friends son?

He is still young and every child is different.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
cheekychaplin · 17/02/2022 10:16

He sounds totally normal tbh. Babies climb. Not all autistic children climb. Neither of mine ever did. Your friends experience is limited.

Bigfathairyones · 17/02/2022 10:19

Where is your friend getting her info from? I had 2 friends who's LOs climbed voraciously from a very early age and neither is autistic, so even if anecdotally true (if she's quoting from her friends, as I'm quoting from mine), it's far, far from a 'done deal'.

doadeer · 17/02/2022 10:19

There's not enough markers in what you've said. When my son was diagnosed at 2 they looked at his challenges across :

Communication and Play
Reptitive activities
Social interaction

Just keep being patient with him, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

The first port of call a HV would do is a hearing test.

Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 10:36

She has a son with autism who is 8 years old and a LO the same age as my son. She is also a nursery nurse training to be a senco.

Is there any distinctive traits that I should see in him at this age apart from the fact he doesn't answer his name or point at things?

OP posts:
WalkingOnSonshine · 17/02/2022 10:39

My son is 13 months old.

He climbs everything, nursery call him the mountaineer now. He doesn’t point & only responds to his name when he wants to.

He’s honestly absolutely fine as he is, as is your little one.

SatinHeart · 17/02/2022 10:41

Climbing (or not) tells you nothing of worth.

13 mo is too young to be worrying about pointing.

Not responding to name but seeming to turn round for other sounds could still be a hearing issue e.g. glue ear which can affect ability to hear specific sounds such as speech sounds, but not other sounds. One of my DC had quite severe glue ear and it really wasn't obvious for a long time. Never had an ear infection, could hear a lot of sounds quite well.

Agree with pp, talk to your HV if concerned but at that age all they will do is refer to audiology in the first instance.

cheekychaplin · 17/02/2022 11:03

She is also a nursery nurse training to be a senco.

She should know better then Sad

It's bad enough when it comes from an uninformed parent who thinks their experience of autism is the only one, but someone who is in a profession with children and training to be a senco - awful.

She has put the fear into you and instead of enjoying your baby you are now analysing every part of him. Please just enjoy these precious years before they pass you by.

Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 12:00

Today I was on a video call with my sister to see what she thinks and it got to the point I was getting in my son's face to get his attention and he would either look around me or keep playing with a his toy blanking me.. so it's not that he won't just answer his name he won't acknowledge me at all when I'm trying to get his attention! But will stop if hes doing something he shouldn't be and I said no or stop 🤷🏼‍♀️ he's not afraid of eye contact we do it all the time when playing games together but this seems like very odd behaviour to me unless he is just pig ignorant 😂 which I can't imagine being the case at this young age.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 17/02/2022 12:04

Talk to your health visitor, if you still have one.

Think you are looking for things to be wrong with him, just enjoy him the way he is.

FTEngineerM · 17/02/2022 12:05

Hmmm it sounds normal to me, sometimes if my son is engrossed he just blanks me..
he climbs everything too. Everything. All the time. The ignoring thing has got better now he’s older, I can just say his name if he doesn’t respond I say look at Mammy and he does.

Maybe it’s normal to me because he’s autistic and that’s all I know but every I’ve met says this is all normal too.

BethDutton · 17/02/2022 12:09

I think you are worrying far too much, try to relax and enjoy your baby.

Lazylegend · 17/02/2022 12:16

Does it matter? You can't change his future so just enjoy him. My son is autistic,adhd and many other diagnosis but is also a my son who I love. He's doing brilliantly and i wasted too much time crying and worrying about the future he might or might not have. Your friend shouldn't consider a job as a senco if she's flagging things up for a 13 month old that is doing ok.

busyeatingbiscuits · 17/02/2022 12:19

He's very little still, I would give it til 18 months and if you still have concerns speak to your HV.

RoseslnTheHospital · 17/02/2022 12:24

@KP12

Today I was on a video call with my sister to see what she thinks and it got to the point I was getting in my son's face to get his attention and he would either look around me or keep playing with a his toy blanking me.. so it's not that he won't just answer his name he won't acknowledge me at all when I'm trying to get his attention! But will stop if hes doing something he shouldn't be and I said no or stop 🤷🏼‍♀️ he's not afraid of eye contact we do it all the time when playing games together but this seems like very odd behaviour to me unless he is just pig ignorant 😂 which I can't imagine being the case at this young age.
This is a ridiculous comment. The phrase "pig ignorant" is particularly unpleasant to use to describe such young children, even if you attempt to deflect by using a laughing emoji.

He's 13 months, a baby. They are all ego and self focussed at this age, what you are describing is all completely normal. Neither of my children ever really pointed at anything, and only answered to their names when they wanted to. Rather than listen to your friend, check with your health visitor or similar if you have any specific concerns with your baby's development.

KneadingKitty · 17/02/2022 12:35

I can't remember at what point my three children responded to their names but I think it was still very hit and miss in the toddler years because their attention is all over the place. They also get very engrossed in what they are doing. People are very quick to pathologise things now.

Have his hearing checked if your concerns continue though, if you go to a professional that's one of the first things they will ask to be done to rule it out and then move on to next steps. Hearing isn't as simple as people think it is.

Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 12:45

Yes I know I need to speak to my health visitor I have left messages but just thought I would come here and see other people's thoughts in the mean time as I am a very anxious person and worry terrible about things. I know that I can't change it but really I wanted reassurance that I wasn't wrong to not be concerned about my child until other people put it in my head as now I feel terrible I may have missed something and should have worried more before. I just want the best for my baby like all mother's and have read the sooner he gets help if needed the better. Also as I know I am an over thinker and sometimes irrational I thought by getting a broader range of opinions before overly panicking to my HV I may be able to get more insight into the situation and realise it's probably nothing worth worrying about. It doesn't help it's time of the month for me so emotions are heightened 🙈😂

OP posts:
KneadingKitty · 17/02/2022 12:45

By the way, pointing is a very important milestone and has been found through research to be an indicator of future language development. Try to increase your modelling of it to help him form the connection of its purpose and see if that helps.

This is also a useful guide:

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/parents/ages-and-stages/

Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 12:49

@RoseslnTheHospital probably bad choice of language but I did mean it light heartedly and followed the comment with "I can't imagine being the case at this young age" as I don't believe a child to have that tendancy! Way to jump down someone's throat who is having a difficult time emotionally.

OP posts:
Original poster
KP12 · 17/02/2022 12:51

@KneadingKitty thank you for the link! I guess I probably don't model the behaviour so how would he know how to do it I will try and encourage it more.

OP posts:
KneadingKitty · 17/02/2022 13:31

Look up "joint attention" and the benefits of it and how to use it to encourage language development (which often starts as non verbal communication). It's crucial at this age as he will be like a little sponge. Smile

This explains a bit more:

I am studying to be a SaLT and these are resources I have been given by my university during my learning.

Embracelife · 17/02/2022 13:53

Your anxiety is at play here
Wait til he is in nursery then ask their advice
Relax and enjoy time with him

Violetmo0n · 17/02/2022 13:58

Children climb
Children sometimes choose when to listen

Ring your HV to reassure you but he sounds totally fine.

Your friend shouldn't be saying comments like that esp if she's training to be a senco.

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