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Parenting

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9yr refusing sleep

7 replies

Gravmum · 16/02/2022 21:51

Hi, I’m literally at the end of my tether with my 9yr son. Since Xmas he has been a nightmare to get to sleep, most nights he’s still up at 10-10.30 which is affecting his moods and schooling. For the first few weeks every night he said he couldn’t because he had sore feet which after a trip to the docs that has suddenly been forgotten about.
We start off well I read him a chapter of his book, he reads a bit of book on his own then it’s lights out. From then it’s constant getting in and out of bed and coming into me or shouting out to me that he can’t sleep. If I go in to him I’m in and out for hours, if I leave him he starts shouting out and sobbing. He’s always been an anxious child so I’ve been putting it down to anxiety although we talk a lot and he says nothing is worrying him.
So I’ve tried.. a worry monster, some anxiety crystals to keep near his bed, he has tried listening to relaxing music, reading, reward/sticker charts.
I feel absolutely awful that the last few nights it’s resulting in me shouting at him as he’s now disturbing his younger brother, I’ve lost my temper and although he’s then fell asleep straight away I hate the thought of him being so upset when he falls asleep.
Just as a side note he goes to his dads 1 night a week where he falls asleep almost straight away 😩, what am I doing wrong 😭I’m a single mum that’s so stressed out I’m not sleeping
Has anyone got any ideas where to turn

OP posts:
ExcitingTimes2021 · 17/02/2022 10:20

No Advice but I just wanted to say you are doing nothing wrong. Infact you are probably doing everything right. You are his safe space,he feels comfortable with you so feels safe to act up a little when he doesn’t for others.
Also nothing wrong with losing your temper every now and again. We are human and that it what we all do unfortunately (even the gentlest of parents). He won’t be upset for long and will have forgotten about it in a few days, if not by morning! He is old enough for a little gentle/mild discipline so please don’t beat yourself up. X

DoubleTweenQueen · 17/02/2022 10:28

@Gravmum Have you tried audio books at all? DD2 was similar. We put an old cd player near her and Narnia & Harry Potter CDs, and I would just turn off when she was asleep. Very low volume so they have to lie still and focus on listening, so counters over-active thinking.

MaizeAmaze · 17/02/2022 10:33

What time is bed time?
Do you know how bedtime looks at Dad's?

I'd go with pushing bedbedtime back by 30 mins, and not enforcing lights out - mine is 10, but usually switching off the lights close to 9, and awake again shortly after 6.

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Gravmum · 17/02/2022 10:56

Oh god maybe I’m putting him to bed to early I hadn’t even thought of that. He goes up at 7.30 and lights are out by 8. At his dads there’s no set bedtime it’s very much they go when they want with no set routine.
@DoubleTweenQueen I haven’t tried audio books but that sounds like a really good idea to try.

OP posts:
Pear21 · 17/02/2022 17:58

730 sounds a bit early for a 9 year old. Mine goes to bed at 830

BigBare · 10/02/2023 00:26

@Gravmum was wondering, did you overcome this issue? Thanks

Pinkbananas01 · 10/02/2023 00:30

Mine used to go to bed about 8.30 at this age & would read or listen to audio books for a while before lights out around 9.30/45. At weekends slightly later.

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