7 month old baby fussing all the time - I am slowly dying inside!

[Sau434]

So my 7 month old has never been a happy baby. Right from birth wanted to be held all the time, only napped in the carrier for the first 3 months, hated the stroller for about 5 months, she would scream or fuss every time we set her down for the first 4-5 months. After that she would be ok to roll around and play for 10 mins here and there as long as me or my husband were next to her. I thought she was making progress.

Last two weeks she is again literally not happy on the floor ever! She is happy and perfectly calm in the stroller/car seat (for a limited time) and in the carrier (a lot longer). The minute we put her down and give her a toy it's all over and she is crying/fussing again.

She has been sleeping well, eating at regular intervals (solids and bm), she is not sick as far as I can tell (giving her painkillers doesn't change anything). She looks perfectly fine to me healthwise, what is going on??

I feel like I am still living in the newborn phase where I am just keeping my head above water, all I can do throughout the day is eat (simple stuff nothing that takes more than 5-10mins to prepare) and get my other kids out to their kindy/school or the park. Everything else needs to be done after she is in bed or my husband finishes work and he can hold her. I feel like this is affecting my relationship with my other two children as I can never spend any time with them and I am slowly getting more and more tired of living in the survival mode (it's been 7 months!!).

Is there anyone who can provide some insight or hope for me? I am just so tired of trying to pull myself together every day and pretend that everything is ok in front of my other kids - they don't deserve a crying and depressed mum!

Sending hugs 🤗

I think most of us have been there. I really feel for you. 7 months is a tough age.

I promise, it will get better. Do whatever you need to get a break and some time with the others.

I don’t have any magic tips. I just carried mine everywhere because it was easier than being screamed at!

Once mine hit 1 he started getting easier. I can even cook dinner without being harassed!

You will get there x

A lot of your post could have been written by me! I think around that age there is a lot going on - teething, maybe weaning discomfort, frustration at trying to crawl or move more etc. We have just been through a period like this and I think it’s started to get better again at 8.5 months. On those sorts of days I would just get nothing done unless my husband was around and just accept it! Or do stuff whilst holding her in one arm (very slowly 😂). I found a few random things that would stop her crying like a particular song she liked and I would dance around manically trying to entertain her while cooking dinner.

An easier option might be to carry baby around in the carrier though? Don’t really know why I didn’t do that apart from I’m quite weak!

I read somewhere on a post on Instagram that this behavior could be down to silent reflux.

If this has been constant since birth and more relentless than the babies you see around you - i can commiserate. My daughter was the same. If you've ruled out all physical issues like reflux (which i did) then the term often used is 'high needs baby'...Im afraid its just how some babies are. My daughters now 7 and remains very emotionally sensitive, but also brilliant and quite independant (attached to my side for years). You eventually get used to it but it can be really psychologically stressful to parent a child like this. Get as much support as you can, do what you need to to get through the day, dont frustrate yourself with expectations of how 'you should be able to just put them down' without tears, it will get easier x

Teething?

Teething was terrible for my kids, so it was the first time they got paracetamol actually

Oh OP the biggest hug and solidarity! I could be reading about my DS just over a year ago almost to the letter! Having a near permanently whiny, unsettled baby is just the worst. I literally couldn’t understand how people enjoyed maternity leave. It was one long, awful, survival slog for me. Ashamed of it now, but I used to look at other mothers smashing it with their smiley, placid babies and feel such rage!

For us, it was frustration and separation anxiety. Pure and simple. I think some babies are just born knowing exactly what they want and won’t settle until they get it! He’s got infinitely better with each milestone. I’m not going to lie, the entirety of the first 12 or so months were pretty awful. It came in waves but generally I don’t have many happy memories. But as soon as he mastered walking and understood most of what we were saying/could speak back to us it got so much better. I remember a rapid, noticeable step change at about 14 or 15 months. He still has his moments but he’s quite an easy 21 month old now!

Hang in there, it won’t be this hard forever. Do you have plans to go back to work? X

Also agree with everything @supercali77 has said. I’m not a fan of the term ‘high needs’ as it’s not as black and white as that - it’s a spectrum. But actually everything that the concept of a ‘high needs baby’ describes is pretty spot on.

@supercali77 @AliceW89 @Peaplant20 I am so afraid to label her high needs since this is the third high needs baby I have! But it looks like what I have and the only hope is that she will get better sooner rather than later. Thanks for being honest with your experiences, I really need this as I don't know anyone in real life with babies like this! I feel like I am cursed or something.

Having had two already like this you would think I would know but it's all a big blur and I can't remember when they got better, was it at 8 or 12 months or beyond..

@grey12

Teething?

Teething was terrible for my kids, so it was the first time they got paracetamol actually

Doesn't look like it as giving her pain relief does nothing :(

@Snorkello that's what I do, we just carry her around usually in the carrier but it's just depressing to do that as you can't really bond with her or with your other children L(

OP ye gods 3 who were fussy babies, you poor thing 😦 i ended up joining a HN support group on fb to whinge about how I could never get anything done without a fussing wee one strapped to me. Looking back it felt like I got a bit of ptsd from babies crying. Solidarity, it feels isolating and long, but you'll get there. As a pp said with every milestone they seem to improve.

According to my app our babies have reached the object permanence phase - that comes with more crying! It's because they've learned that being put down can mean being left and that we still exist even if we're not with them...which means they now emotionally and cognitively know to miss us. It is a huge developmental period for them.

From everything I've read and listened to this is normal for some babies and the best way to create independence is to continue to respond to her until she feels more secure.

Also sometimes babies go through these clingy phases, I know mine does. I just keep reassuring her and trying to make her laugh until her daddy gets home and then I'm like pleeeease spend time with your child

I was listening to a podcast yesterday where they were talking about this subject matter specifically. Sorry I'm not entirely sure how to put a link in but the podcast is called "Sleep like a baby?" And it's episode 8 entitled "Attachment and Sleep with Charlotte Inskip"

I think you're doing everything right responding to her and she will come out the other side

[quote Sau434]**@supercali77* @AliceW89* @Peaplant20 I am so afraid to label her high needs since this is the third high needs baby I have! But it looks like what I have and the only hope is that she will get better sooner rather than later. Thanks for being honest with your experiences, I really need this as I don't know anyone in real life with babies like this! I feel like I am cursed or something.

Having had two already like this you would think I would know but it's all a big blur and I can't remember when they got better, was it at 8 or 12 months or beyond..[/quote]
Oh wow 3?! You poor thing. It’s what puts me off having anymore to be honest. It’s kinda silly as 1 or 1.5 years is actually a really short time in a persons life. But I still here crying wherever I go he cried and fussed that much, it still feels like a permanent background noise. It really broke me to be honest.

Eldest was like this, and it improved in stages:

• 10m: cruising
• 11m: walking
• 12/14m: communicating
• 18m: Dropping nap (slept through so better rested)

The period between 5 and 10m was HIDEOUS - it’s the being able to sit independently and see stuff but not being able to get to it, I think.

I found chocolate and alcohol helped a lot.

@Flittingaboutagain

According to my app our babies have reached the object permanence phase - that comes with more crying! It's because they've learned that being put down can mean being left and that we still exist even if we're not with them...which means they now emotionally and cognitively know to miss us. It is a huge developmental period for them.

oh god, I checked and she just turned 31 weeks today and they say that leap starts at around 29 weeks! So her super fussiness started spot on 29weeks! Obviously she was hit hard, I wonder how long till I can have my regular fussy baby back as opposed to super crazy fussy

@AliceW89 Having had two high needs babies we really thought long and hard about having a third. At one point we thought no way we can do this again (we gave away all the baby stuff etc but then changed our minds).

I really think I have some sort of PTSD from that (like @supercali77 mentioned too). We decided in the end that yes, one year is a short period but oh man it really sucks when you are in it!:(

Thanks for the support and kind words everyone. I really feel like you guys who experienced it can understand as none of the people with regular babies can understand what it means and you can just see they think you are just this negative person who is always complaining. And they keep telling me I will miss the cuddles! I will take non fussy toddler cuddles any day thank you very much (with tantrums and all)!

The bonus is that when you get to toddler tantrum stage you will be completely unfazed because you’ve been through a LOT worse….I used to be able to breezily laugh off 2yo DD1 faceplanting and howling over a Freddo in the middle of Tesco no problem!

So true @timeturnerplease ! My pals all complained during the toddler years and while my dd remained sensitive by comparison it was a total breeze

This thread has really helped me today. I can so relate and it is so reassuring to read of others who understand. OP I have so been there with the feeling rage towards other parents who, through no fault of their own, can't understand and seem (seem probably the appropriate word!) to have it so much easier.

If anyone lives in Cambridgeshire/Hertfordshire area and wants a high needs baby meet up, I'll be there!

@carrotcakefan I am lad it helped! Threads like this help me so much, I am still re-reading everyone's answers, it's like therapy!:)

I am glad to report that after about 3 weeks of crazy fussy behaviour she is back to her regular self. Still no potato baby but I can live with that. Thank god!!

Hi! Please give me an update. I have an exact fussy baby like you. My son is 7 months old and we are in same situation, fussy all time. I'm depressed. Did your baby get an improved?

Clicked on this thread because I also have a miserable baby! (Two actually.) Was sad to see it was a zombie but actually hoping OP comes back and says it’s magically better and her one year old is now the happiest most independent baby on the planet 😅