My baby hates my mum!

[Fluffypeach]

My baby is 3 months old and I'm back to work (part time) in 2 weeks - Thankfully my mum will be looking afteer my daughter but everytime my mum lifts her or talks to her my baby screams hysterically and is so hard to calm down. She never does this with anyone else!

I'm so nervous about leaving her and I feel bad for my mum as I know she's hurt by it as this is her first grandchild. How can I get my baby used to her? I'm trying to make her more familiar without actually touching her, tried getting mum to give her an expressed bottle, nothing seems to be helping.

Any suggestions or advice welcome!

How often does your mom see her now? If it's sporadic then it's a matter of not being used to her.
She could try holding one of your tshirts on her shoulder so baby has a comforting smell?

Is it something like she doesn't like her perfume?

My Nan once told me a story that whenever her Nan would hold her she would cry but they figured out it was because she wore a spiky brooch and it would press in to her when she held her!

Could you try and spend more time with her. Don't make a fuss about it just go for a coffee for half hour and go. She will get used to her.

as gigantaraffe wrote my first thought was perfume - my DD was the same with my mum, who does go heavy on the Chanel no 5 where I never wear perfume. She was the same with mil who was a smoker. She only reacted like that as a small baby though - once she was a mobile baby she seemed to have totally forgotten about her aversion to the smells (or perhaps it was as simple as being able to move away or the fact people hold newborns and small babies closer than bigger, stronger, sitting/ crawling babies).

If it's perfume or cigarette smoking smell you'll be best talking to your mum about it as it won't change in two weeks but is at least an easy fix (though if she's a smoker might involve changing clothes!)

Joining in with the chorus. My eldest wouldn't go anywhere near a couple of relativrs that smelt of smoke and/or strong perfume.

When your mum picks her up does she hold her properly? My MIL never used to hold my baby correctly sort of fireman's lift her over her shoulder and I don't think my baby felt safe we'd sorta have to calmly say oh give her to me I'll settle her and as soon as we took the baby she'd stop crying also the smoker thing is true I as an adult find smokers have a overpowering suffocating smell so goodness knows how bad a baby would find it with their little lungs

How often does she see her now?
I would be inclined to leave her with your mum for an hour or so before you go back.

How is her mum holding her etc? Does she have confidence with it?

Glasses can sometimes be an issue.

My dd wouldn’t go near my sister for ages when she was a baby. My sister had her hair up in a turban after washing it and my dd screamed for months after every time she saw her.
Glasses as well it can be.

My little girl was the same with my Mum at first - we realised it was her perfume!

Perfume, dark lipstick, smoking, eye glasses, all culprits.

Shes still in 4th trimester really, getting used to other people. Give her some more time, I'm sure they'll be best of friends in no time.

My daughter get freaked out by people who don't usually wear glasses putting glasses on. She looks at the frightened and then starts crying hard.

Does she wear glasses?

With all mine there was a stage when people with very dark eyebrows scared them 😂