Toddlers hitting each other. What do I do??

[lopape]

It's exhausting, day after day there's some conflict with my toddlers ( 1 year old and almost 3). The 3 yo hits the 1yo and pushes him and takes his toys. I say no.. don't do it. If she hits him I take the 1yo in my arms and give him attention, if she takes the toy I give it back. But I feel like nothings working, and she goes back on doing the exact same shit 5 minutes after.
I even tried putting her in the corner which I know it's not the best.

She does get attention but when I'm alone with the both of them I obviously cannot only give 1 attention.
I also feel like I yell a lot now which I hate but how the fuck do people keep calm?

Please help me, tell me exactly what to say and do when she hits her brother because I'm going insane!!

Yes I feel your pain. My eldest was like this. And I'm afraid I forgot how to handle it.You do have to tell the 3 year old off. At that age she needs to be told to behave better. Don't be harsh on yourself. I think you're doing your best. Give her time to sit on the naughty step or say she can't have her favourite pudding if she misbehaves, or find other consequences to bad behaviour. I know in theory we reward good behaviour so if you think that would work, try and bring some positive rewards. Hang in there. They aren't this hard work forever. All the best.

Get a playpen. Put one or other on it when you're not in the room. That's what my mother did to stop my brother biting my sister.

At three a time out is perfectly reasonable.

I would also remove toys and put them in time out (on top of the fridge) for an hour.

I also had a stair gate between the kitchen and the living room and I would take the little one in the kitchen with me and have the older one in the living room. The living room was completely toddler proofed. He liked having his own time and the little one was able to have fun with me (and I could get the washing up done while he played with a couple of his toys)

@SeaToSki

At three a time out is perfectly reasonable.

I would also remove toys and put them in time out (on top of the fridge) for an hour.

I also had a stair gate between the kitchen and the living room and I would take the little one in the kitchen with me and have the older one in the living room. The living room was completely toddler proofed. He liked having his own time and the little one was able to have fun with me (and I could get the washing up done while he played with a couple of his toys)

Sorry I shouldn't laugh but that sounds like you're saying to put the toddler on top of the fridge!

Thanks, I'll try putting my toddler on the fridge .

She hits him/ push him when I'm right there, sometimes I'm not fast enough to react. Sometimes I catch her and say no and she does it again 1 minute later..

I had the exact same age gap, it's so hard. I found the book how to talk so little kids will listen (it's called something like that i think) incredibly helpful in how to deal with it. I can't remember the exact tips now but it was so helpful!

I should say I did do time outs for the 3 year old, I absolutely would not allow her to hit & push the younger one.

My two were the same at that age. Show her how to interact with 1y0. So tickle belly/toes. Gentle hands. Pull funny faces or try to make him laugh. Make a den together. With the toy snatching my 1yo was happy with anything so 3yo had to find an alternative toy for him to swap and model asking nicely/ sharing. There are other tips I cant think of yet. Baby would come into room with me.
However I couldn't leave them alone together until youngest was about 18mo. Then they became best friends. Exhausting but they will grow out of it.
Also suggest the book 'siblings without rivalry' for some tips.
Think I might need to re-read it because now 8yo ds has become difficult again.