Toddler whining

[FTEngineerM]

You lovey people have helped me many times before so no doubt you’ll smash it again.

I’m getting increasingly frustrated internally only, I’m yet to shout/react externally but I fear that’s not far away with DS1 (20months old) who has started to whine.. at everything.. Some examples(but not exhaustive):
Putting him in car seat.
Taking him out of car seat.
Putting him down from carrying him or picking him up for a cuddle.
When he wakes up.
Before he goes to sleep.
When I drop him at nursery.
When I pick him up from nursery and pop him in the car.
When I try and put him in the trolley when I get him out..

Firstly, is this developmental or am I missing something glaringly obvious? It’s new. He doesn’t seem to be in pain, I’ve offered pain relief a few times and it makes no difference to the behaviour. He stops whining if I pick him up and cuddle him.

Secondly, what coping mechanisms have you used? Have you found any info helped? I don’t want to end up shouting but sometimes I’m incredibly close to saying ‘be quiet for just ONE second’ I say it in my head repeatedly some days.

I don’t think anything else has changed, he’s enjoying his brother more than ever, he’s eating loads of good varied foods, he’s also become a nightmare with sleep but I’m going to write that in the sleep section. He’s got loads of words now since we ditched the dummy so will say when he wants a nap and so on.

Help?
Or is this another thing to ride out?

Whining is 99% developmental in my experience, although teething or illness usually heightens any underlying displeasure! Potentially the dummy masked it a bit before? You are very lucky to get to 20 months with no whining phases at all

Best advice. Zone out. Don’t take it personally - that is so important so you don’t sink or shout at them. It’s really, really sh*t being 1.5 years old. Even though your body and mind is amazing (or so you think) nobody gives you any autonomy! It’s nothing you’ve done or not done. Be almost sickeningly light and airy, rise above it, be empathetic but don’t get lost in the whining…and drink wine when they are finally asleep.

From someone also with a 20 month old who has had more whiny phases then I care to remember!

Thanks @AliceW89 that is so true. It would probably help if I give him some decisions like this outfit or that in that case then?

Ha yeah wine is fantastic 🥲
The dummy definitely hit some because when teething he’d be glued to it whereas now there’s nothing.

My 21 month old is the queen of whining, even with a dummy!

I find she is much more whiny when she’s about to hit a milestone, teething etc. Also read they start testing boundaries around this age so that could be it too.

It’s relentless, feel your pain

My 9mo is the world's biggest whinger and whiner at times!

It's what they they do. 16mo and a 4yo here, some days the whinge level is unbelievable.

I find booze helps (for me obviously).

From what you say, it sounds like a phase, FT.

I find booze helps (for me obviously)

I love the clarification ❤️😂

If you’re at home, I find sometimes putting some nursery rhymes or something on can help break the cycle of whine sometimes - but yeah sometimes it is relentless whatever you do!

It’s all communication so try acknowledging his feelings: ‘getting out of the car seat is annoying for you, you were comfortable in there’ might help.

I don’t think I was hiding my frustration as well as I thought I tried the super duper cheery vibe mum today and I’d say he was 50% less whiney. Maybe it was a fluke but there was deffo an improvement to us both 😂 thanks everyone

Find positives and distractions. Oooh look at the bird whilst getting in the car. Thank you for being SO amazing at xxx.
I personally found George Pig and watching Bing were triggers for misery.