I'm a bit worried now, should I be getting DD (6 weeks) into a bedtime routine?

[GoodGollyMissMolly]

DD is 6 weeks old today and for the last 10 days or so it has been sheer hell. I have had next to no sleep.
As soon as we brought dd home, she was initially cluster feeding from 5pm till 2am, then it went from 7pm till 2am. now it is going 10pm till about 5-6am (7am this morning). I am breast feeding her on demand so as you can guess I am knackered.

Should we be getting her in to a bedtime routine now?, if so how do we go about starting it.
Also is this normal?
Will it get better?
Will DD sort herself out with regards to her body clock.

Do I need to co sleep with her? (I really dont think I will be able to co sleep without worrying I'll squash her)

I dont know what else to do with her, I am so tired I feel like I am loosing the plot.

Sending you lots of hugs [hug] I remember this well with both of mine. I ended up co-sleeping from day one with both of mine so i could TRY to get some sleep and at least be resting. I found it so much easier to lie down and b/f at nights...we never had a routine and fortunately both our children at 2 and 10 months sleep through the night unless of course poorly, teething etc..
We are too lazy for routines

Hoping you get some sleep xx

Lol, Cha Cha, it's the same with us we are too lazy for routines, DH just kinda goes with the flo and I follow him.

It does get better. Although my six year old still gets up in the night occassionally.

The "No cry sleep solution" By Elizabeth Pansey is a great book.

www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Pantley/dp/0071381392/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1 ?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1199214543&sr=8-1

Rolling on the floor at the idea of getting a six week old into a routine of any kind. BTW the last ten days - that's a growth spurt, it'll happen every six weeks or so for the next ten months - you get used to it

whomovedmychocolate, I'm glad I was able to provide you with some humor
I was just worried that I was doing it wrong and that DD ahould be in some sort of a routine.
I thought it was a growth spurt, god they are exhausting.

whomovedmychocolate, I'm glad I was able to provide you with some humor
I was just worried that I was doing it wrong and that DD ahould be in some sort of a routine.
I thought it was a growth spurt, god they are exhausting.

Hi GGMM, funny how people move from childbirth to parenting. :-)
My DS is going to be 6 weeks on Sat. Our bedtime routine is turning down lights around 8.45 for a last feed and than off to bed with a lullaby. Sometimes it works and he falls asleep, sometimes we must provide some 'white noise' and rocking. I found giving a bath in the evening a bit exhausting so we don't.
Anyway, Im sure you are a fabulous mother. Good luck!

GH,it's way too early to be thinking of a rountine. Her stomach is the size of a walnut so needs filling often.

It's hard work at first but does get better.The best advice I got is to (temporarily) surrender to a different life for a bit.

Co-sleeping is safe if you are not drunk or have taken drugs or smoked. Much easier way for eveyone to get some sleep.

I don't think an attempt at a gentle routine would do any harm to your DD. It might just make you feel a bit more on top of things. Just having bathtime might help, but at that age she'll still be feeding lots.

FWIW I never co-slept either, I was far too scared and would never have relaxed.

Goodgollymissmolly - yes they are exhausting, frustrating and wonderful all at the same time. You must be about at the first smile point though - that does help redeem the little buggers darling children slightly

There is nothing stopping you having a routine though if it helps, just don't expect a baby to fall in with it - they rarely read baby books and are non-conformists anyway!

ooh, you are brave justabout I was too scared to say that! (puts hard hat on as well) I used GF too, as I was a miserable wreck trying to go with the flow.

Doesn't work for everyone though.

Please don't suggest GF to a mother who is breastfeeding on demand.
Goodgolly - no need for routine at 6 weeks, things will settle down after a few months. Just go with the flow, dont expect much except lots of feeding and try and rest when the baby does.

YOu need to go with the flow if you are to breastfeed on demand successfully.

Hi, I breastfed on demand too, lots of cluster feeding in the evenings. We did have a bit of a routine though, just for me really, made me feel better. At 6 weeks though it would have to be very flexible, babies need the food and need to build up your supply.

I think we did, lights down low and a story/lullaby, no "play time" in the evenings. Then feeding after and into the night if baby needed it. At about 10 weeks we started to do a regular bath in the evenings. I think it made little difference to the baby but made me feel like it was evening time (I did lots of evening feeds in front of the tv!)

Good luck, it's very tiring, but the perfect reason to eat lots of mince pies and chocolates from Christmas

That sort of very gentle routine is great Theochris, but anything more structured can be hard when trying to feed on demand.
Best advice I had at the start of breastfeeding was not to clockwatch. Just feed the baby when he/she wants, day or night, dont look at the clock and dont time feeds/sides etc. Worked for me.

Not sure anyone "commanded" you not to express your opinion justabout.
But a GF type routine (or any strict routine for that matter) and b-feeding on demand (as the OP is doing) do not happy bedfellows make...

i was so bloody naive and knackered i tried to do the gina ford routines, as i think i was depressed and just terrified of not gettingit right.

nothing was right inthe end tho, and it just screwed me up trying so damn hard.

If i were you I would try my best to take a step back, and not get too in depth with worrying.

my dd is 5 1/2 and now sleeps in my bed PMSL, after spending 5 yrs forced to sleep in hers.
I get more sleep now than I ever did.
ahem

yrs that is not months!!!

There are many ways of parenting children. Personally I would not use Gina Ford's routine in a million years if I was breastfeeding on demand.

However there should be a middle ground between being a total martyr and leaving a baby to scream.

I like Elizabeth Pantsey's "No Cry Sleep Solution" because it is very attachment parenting minded. There are ways that you can encourage a better sleep pattern without resorting to controlled crying or using a routine. Also the routine that Gina advocated would not have worked for our family. My husband wanted to see his son when he return from work, so he had 8pm bed time.

I think that a bath about half an hour before you want the child to go to bed helps relax them. I used to dress my son in an outfit during the day and change him into a babygro at night time. I used to breastfeed him in a dark room (with a nightlight). I did not co sleep, but the cot was so close to my bed that I could reach out and pick up my son without getting out of bed.

Are you letting your child fall asleep on the breast? Its worth trying to put your child down in the cot awake and see if he/she will fall asleep without the breast in their mouth. If after a minute or so of crying the baby has not settled then give another breastfeed. When the days start to get longer it might help to invest in a blackout blind.

I was stupid enough to follow health visitor advice and use controlled crying at 14 months old. It made my son feel very insecure and it has taken years to get him happy about going to bed.

Like many parents I was not prepared for what the reality was like of having children. Expecting a child to sleep through the night at 6 months is totally unrealistic. However a child over 6 months can be encouraged to have a 5 hour stretch of unbroken sleep.

I like Elizabeth Pantsey's book because it tells you what to expect and IF you actually have a child with a sleep problem or a normal baby.

The Dr. Sears book "Nighttime Parenting" has plenty of suggestions on how to make broken night easier rather than fighting to get the baby to sleep through.

We introduced a "routine" at night very early on. It mainly consists of a bath at around 6ish, a feed, a cuddle and a chat and then bed. Just seemed like the natural thing to do, and by the time DD was about 7 weeks (she's 12 weeks now) she'd get a bit upset if the bath didn't happen. We're not that rigid though, and obviously she can't tell the time, so our thing is as long as it happens in that order, she's happy and we're happy. For the last few weeks I've been establishing a nap routine too as I've noticed she gets very, very grumpy if she doesn't get enough sleep (ably demonstrated over Christmas as DH just wanted to play with her all the time!!)

We do feed on demand (mixed feeding) and we find that she's managed to establish her own little feeding routine, and we've fitted in around her.

This is just how it works for us, and so far, so good.

Good luck!