How do you stop breastfeeding?

[ExcitingTimes2021]

Hi everyone.

LO is now just over six months old. I chose to breastfeed but honestly have never enjoyed it. The constant pressure of it all is just getting to me now and I just don’t get a break. The problem is she so far she has been rejecting a bottle (although we haven’t really pushed it for a while) but she normally just takes it in her mouth then pulls away and lets the milk dribble out of her mouth. Been trying to introduce a cup as well for the last few weeks bit she pretty much does the same and takes absolutely minimal from it. Not way I could get enough milk in her by cup alone.
I go back to work soon and I work 12 hours shifts plus travel time and I don’t know how it will work. People say she will just make up for it over night but I can’t have her feeding all night as I’ll have another 12 hour shift the following day. I also work night shifts on rotation and the only way she will go to sleep is with boob at the moment. We have been trying to sleep train for the last 9 nights and it’s just resulting in lots of tears for both of us. She will only nap with boob. All wake ups need boob and there are so many night wakes.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their baby 6 months plus to take bottles? Or has anyone worked long long shifts and managed to carry on breast feeding? I’m feeling trapped and just can’t see a way forward.

Just bumping in hope of some advise?

I failed miserably and still feed over 2 yrs as a result. But what I do know is that she won't do anything while boobs are available. So you will need to go out and leave someone else to try to take the bottle.

She will survive not having bm and things will get easier with weaning but as you say, will most likely result in reverse cycling. I did this while working full time and it is exhausting. Doable but exhausting.

@Carbiesdreamhouse. Thanks so much for your reply! I’m feeling so alone and helpless at the moment.

If I worked a ‘normal 9-5’ I think I would cope with reverse cycling. But when I go to work I leave the house at 6.15am and won’t be home til roughly 8.30pm. I’m so worried about it it’s making me feel ill x

Is your employer aware of your circumstances? Ask them whether they can provide you with breaks and facilities to express milk and put you just on day shifts. Ask via email rather than over the phone and if they say anything to you over the phone then ask for written or email confirmation. If they refuse your request go to Citizens Advice Bureau.

@seaborgium. Yes I have told them but they have basically just said yes someday it feels like you are dying through lack of sleep but you will get through it. They basically just want me back. I’m considering just looking for a new position. Or speaking to the GP and seeing if they will sign me off when Mat leave ends. Iv asked in return to work meetings to not do nights for as long as possible which they agreed but I have a feeling she thinks as long as possible is like 4 weeks! I just wish I had a job with shorter hours at this moment in time. X

DS won’t take a bottle either.

You could try flavouring the milk with fruit or vanilla or something - sometimes expressed milk tastes soapy due to lipase. Try getting her to drink water out of a bottle or cup. When I first went back to work DH often ended up spooning milk into his mouth because he’d take more milk off a spoon than he’d drink from a cup.

DS often waits for someone to take a sip from his cup before he’ll drink from it. He does the same with food sometimes - the person who is feeding him has to eat a spoonful first before he will eat. If you always drink from mugs or glasses then he may prefer drinking from a mug or glass to drinking from his cup.

Depends what you want @ExcitingTimes2021

If you want to change your work shifts permanently or semi-permanently to facilitate breastfeeding you can submit a flexible working request formally detailing what you’d like and they will have to respond formally. They can say no due to ‘business need’ so it can be good to talk the request through informally first to guava their reaction.

If you feel like you just need a bit more time in the short term you could use up some annual leave if you have any carried over to make a part time schedule for a few weeks. Or ask for a formal phased return plan. Many employers allow you to build back up to full time over six weeks or so after a period of extended leave.

If what you really want is to break the breastfeeding habit it can be done! Make a plan to drop one feed per day, skip it for at least five days before dropping another. Get rid of the daytime ones first. DS was a bottle refuser, so at first when feeds were dropped he just went longer between feeds. Once the gap was breakfast til dinner he stated drinking from a bottle or sippy cup, reluctantly at first but he got the hang of it. We got rid of night feeds too because that made him less sulky about the bottles during the day, and astonishingly he never woke for a bottle so we got much more sleep too!

Maybe cross post in the back to work forum? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/going_back_to_work

DD never took a bottle from me and I BF until 2 years But:

1. she went to a childminder 3 days a week from a year. She was eating solids there but the childminder also got her to take 1 bottle of cows milk at lunch time.

1. I still went on the occasional night out /spa day from 6 months. It saved my sanity. She wouldn't drink much for DH but, because I wasn't there, she eventually drank enough that it got her by for a few hours. Actually, I did an overnight at 10 months and she was fine in the end. I think if we'd persevered, we could have got her taking the bottle properly but it would have meant me going away more.

1. We might weaned at about a year. Basically DH did a week of doing all the nights. She didn't love it, but she stopped asking for me after a few days.