Baby groups when you have a toddler too

[PensionPuzzle]

I have a 4 month old and now we're out of the newborn fog (I think) I'm becoming increasingly conscious that my baby is missing out on all the baby groups and things that her sister got to do. Don't get me wrong, I know baby group are as much for the mums, baby doesn't know any different, etc, and it's mainly my own hangup about trying to treat the two girls the same.

We go out to a couple of stay and plays, and the eldest does an activity with her dad at the weekend (which would be prime time for me to take the baby out by herself too but there isn't anything on near us...), but the baby generally stays in the sling or sits with me while the toddler has fun.

Has anyone found any ways round taking them both out to something that's mainly for the baby? We did Tots Play and a lovely group that was all dimmed lights and play and activities around lights with the eldest but neither is suitable for a toddler to tag along. I'm starting to think I might just have to hire a room and set something up myself 😂

Does your toddler not go to nursery? In my experience that's when mum's took their second babies to groups.

If not then honestly I wouldn't take your toddler to a group designed for the baby. She will be bored, restless and it wouldn't be fair on the babies.

Just try to remember that treating the same isn't always sensible. They are different people and your new baby is living a completely different life to her sister, she has a sibling to help her learn and develop, something your eldest never had.

Yes I think the bustle & interaction of having an older sibling stands in for baby groups with the second. No harm in doing it if you want. Having a baby and toddler is hard but having a sibling about who is taken to nursery, talked to all the time, interacts with you etc is beneficial.

I don’t think you can really take a toddler to a class designed for a baby, that wouldn’t be fair on anyone. That’s one of the drawbacks of having two really close together, you can’t give them the same experience (not that that really matters), most people at baby classes with their second or third have the older ones in nursery, or reception.

As you said yourself, the baby groups are for you, not the baby.
The benefits of them - socialisation, contact with the outside world and other people they will get from watching their sibling and others at toddler groups!
It’s just one of those things about being second born.

No, I've never been to a baby group where it would be ok to take a toddler.

I took DC2 to classes on DC1s nursery days and then do soft play and stay & plays on the days I have both of them.

Deffo just take baby to a toddler group!! They will naturally start exploring that group when they're ready. In the mean time watching the madness will be enough!

Thanks all especially for the reassurance that it's my issue, kind of thing. As you say I'm lucky we've got a few toddler groups that it's safe and sensible to take baby to so she does see a bit of life.

We took the eldest out of nursery temporarily when I was approaching due date as it was back to school time so lots of illnesses inevitably flying around. Then as we had some reservations about the nursery anyway we decided to keep her out until she can go to preschool elsewhere in September. I guess that means her little sister will be able go and do all the messy play stuff, baby sensory (just about) then!

I hadn't thought about the sort of casual stimulation for the baby but we are out and about somewhere every day for the toddler's (and mine) benefit so yes it is different to just having the one baby that would happily eat and sleep their way through the days at home if you wanted to.

After Dc1 I just took mine when babies to where I was taking the toddler. Children’s Centre groups, toddler gym, playgroups. Most had a little baby area or baby appropriate stuff.