Mum guilt- nursery or home?

[SharyBobbins]

Hi all, just looking for opinions please!
My second child starts nursery in the summer when I return to work. They will be 12 months old. I work 3 days a week. The plan is for the baby to be with their grandparents 2 of these days and at nursery another 2, meaning one of their nursery days I'll be at home. The reason for this is I had planned to drop the baby at nursery, the eldest at school, get the weekly food shop in & do as much washing and housework as possible on this day before picking the eldest up again at 3pm and the baby not long after. This is so I can spend my last non-work day with the baby and the weekend with both kids without having to do much housework/laundry etc. It seemed like a good idea at the time but as it approaches I'm starting to feel massively guilty about the baby being in nursery when I am at home I'm just wondering what others would opt to do if they found themselves in a similar situation? Thank you

Totally each to their own and I agree fully with parents taking time out and do regularly as me and my dh swap over. You are so, so lucky with family support too.
But many moons ago pre uni , I worked in a few nurseries as part of an agency and I really really didnt like them for under 3s. Not enough outside time, dc bored a lot, stuck in the same room, constant illness etc. We never used one as a result and it was difficult especially with no family support but v v glad we didnt use them . I think plp over romantisize nurseries on mn but the reality is v v different imho. People are on v low wages in those places too..

We hired a cleaner as was cheaper than nursery. Works great for me but if we had the money then we’d probably do an extra day of nursery as I think it would be foot for our toddler. We will when he gets the free hours. Do what’s right for you - every family is different

That's my experience and my opinion though. I work from home usually but used to sort house during naps and went shopping in the evenings so it didnt affect our time at the weekend...I increased my hours once they were all in school. my dh and I are both v into exercise so would swap over at the weekend for runs etc. Sometimes I would take all 3 dcs away for a weekend and he would chill, watch tv and do hobbies and then my dh does the same and I recharge for a weekend. But no, I am not a fan at all of nurseries for under 3's but thats from my experience so each to their own.

Please stop feeling 'mum guilt'. Do whatever you want. It's so sad that women feel guilt and shame over childcare!

I do this currently and it works brilliantly. We started a little older at 16mo just cos it worked out that way. With the nanny two days, nursery two days and I work for three. That one day is for me to catch up on things or just do whatever I like really. I mostly clean the house and then go do chores or shopping. Sometimes I meet a friend. Sometimes I just Netflix lol. I'm always back early evening for dinner together and bath/bedtime etc. Don't feel guilty! Do whatever feels right for you as a family.

They will settle easier and quicker doing 2 days a week at nursery than just 1. You will have less hectic weekends. Sounds like a good plan to me.

And at 12 months they'd still be napping enough to do plenty at home

Eldest was on 1 x 28 minute nap a day that that age, which we had to force by vigorous buggy rocking. Youngest heading the same way.

I’d give it a go OP and see how you feel. If baby is happy then carry on. If not, you can reevaluate.

Do it!!!! I've just done this with 16 month old! I technically work 3 days (2 at nursery, 1 DH has him) but I have two other kids who I pick up at 3 so I end up working in the night to make up for it. it's my own business too so I'm often working during his naps the days I have him.

I was then finding we were doing all the housework and admin in a Friday and Saturday night, coupled with a baby whose not the best sleeper I was on the verge of a breakdown as I had no time for myself to relax and recharge.

He now goes to nursery on a Friday. It's brilliant, I spend 9 until 2 cleaning and sorting house. Then i do an hour exercise and then get my girls and have an hour with them which they love before pick up for baby. Baby loves nursery! He gladly goes in!

I take my hat off to those who can keep a house clean with a baby who is constantly into everything and very active whilst working, with other kids. I can't!!

I'm now far more present at weekends for my kids and we have more quality time together