Need help is this normal

[Lily189]

Hi everyone I had my second baby a little girl 4 weeks ago and I'm at my wits end and feel so bad about it but she only dosnt cry when shes asleep she just wants fed constant when shes awake shell drink a 6oz bottle (shes formula fed) and if she falls asleep even for 2mins wakes wanting more it's just all day
Is this normal or should I be worried I I breast fed my son so formual feeding is new to me
I literally dont get a min with her and its hard because my son is only 1 my bf says I should leave her to cry and its causing arguments because I wont leave her crying
Just scared I could do her harm if over feed her but she always wants her bottle and trys eat her hands and acts starving if o dont
I've give her some cooled boiled water dosnt help

All advice be great Tia

Does your BF try and settle her at all @Lily189 or is his only response to let her cry?

My nephew was like this then they changed his formula to the "hungry baby formula" and it settled

Does a dummy help? And have you asked your health visitor? Sorry, this sounds so hard, I feel for you.

Thanks everyone shes on hungry baby and has no interest in dummy unfortunatly
My bf does sometimes but after awhile gets fed up with the crying and just wanting food
Health visitor said to feed her on demand and hold her everytime she crys he actually said to treat her like a baby kangaroo and keep her on my at all times then tells me to rest as I had a c scetion hes not very good

Don't give her water, it's not recommended and there's an issue that can happen called water intoxication which is dangerous.

Your boyfriend should be doing everything he possibly can to allow you to prioritise your newborn. Is your 1 year old at home with you as well as you having your new baby? Is your boyfriend back at work?

Are you able to try wearing a sling?

Is she draining her bottles? How much is she having per day? It could be something like CMPA or silent reflux rather than just hunger.

I'd have a chat to your health visitor - if you can keep a diary do that and be very clear about what is happening. I'm not an expert but I read on another thread that hungry baby formula doesn't have more calories, it's just harder to digest so makes them feel full for longer. Might not actually be helping. It definitely sounds like there's something else going on.

We had a screaming baby who seemingly wanted to be fed constantly and was also formula fed because my milk never came. I breaastfed my first so I assumed that feeding formula on demand too was fine. That turned out to be wrong: overfeeding caused reflux that made the baby uncomfortable and sucking the milk bottle gave him temporary comfort but ultimately made his reflux worse. Try to stick to the feeding schedule and explore silent reflux or possible cmpa with your GP (don’t let them fob you off!). make sure they are winded after feeds and kept upright as much as possible. It’s hard, I’ve been there.. good luck.
And yes hungry baby formula is def not appropriate for little ones.

Agree with the PP that this could be reflux related. My DD (1yo now) seemed constantly hungry as a newborn. She was breastfed and it was a constant drain on me because she always cried and feeding her would settle her. After a little while she was diagnosed with silent reflux and they said that because the acid comes up into the throat and burns, they want to feed and the milk then pushing the acid back down and gives some relief, but then their little tummies are too full and makes the reflux worse - a vicious cycle. We were advised to just stick to feeding schedules and keep her upright for 30 mins after each feed. HTH, I feel your pain x

They go through a growth spurt at about 4 weeks, I remember being astounded at how much my tiny little baby was guzzling down, then after a few days it dropped back to more normal feeding frequencies.

I had an app think it was called wonder weeks and it was strangely accurate at telling me when she was going to be going through a growth spurt or a sleep issue.

First up you need to tell your bf that leaving a tiny baby to cry is completely unacceptable and him suggesting it is not helping, so he needs to stop. It’s hard work having two under two and a big change for the whole family and you need support not arguments.

I would track how much milk she is actually taking over the day, each time she feeds write down the time and amount so you have a clear idea. Then if it is extreme you can show your health visitor it written down. Sometimes it can feel like an endless cycle of feeding but baby is fine, sometimes it could be a sign of something else. Hungry baby formula isn’t great tbh, it might be giving her a sore tummy and making her more unsettled. Don’t give water. Also track her nappies, is her pop ok? Or is she constipated?

If she is unsettled between feeds/sleeps pop her in a sling so you can have your hands free to do things with your son while keeping baby feeling close and secure, If you don’t have a sling already then a close caboo can be bought really cheaply second hand.

Remember that these difficult stages will pass, it’s hard when you are in the middle of it but it won’t be forever.