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Original poster

Lost it at 3 year old for constantly refusing antibiotics

31 replies

mylittlemonkys · 10/02/2022 20:07

Hey,
So as I type this im actually crying my eyes out with mum guilt and shame. My DD has tonsillitis and was prescribed antibiotics by the doctor. She took these for 7 days but on the 7th day she started getting a fever again. I took her back to the doctors who said she still had puss on one of the tonsils so prescribed her with different antibiotics. When it came to getting my DD to take them she out right refused after the first taste. My DD is extremely strong willed and I tried everything in the book to get her to take these antibiotics, absolutely nothing worked. So I called the dr back and explained and they said they would put her back on the first antibiotics for another 7 days (as she took those with no problems)
We have come back this afternoon and I managed to get her to take the first does so thought great! But tonight she's back to refusing to take them even though she has had them before and took them this afternoon. Again husband and I tried everything to get her to take them. It got to the point where I lost my temper, really shouted at her, made her cry more then she already was, slammed her door and continued to shout my frustrations outside the door. I feel sick with guilt and feel like the worst mum. I can't bare that I snapped at her like that. I'm laying next her her now while she sleeps feeling like an unfit mum!

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Summerofcontent · 10/02/2022 20:13

Have you tried giving them in as syringe through the night rather than the day while she's asleep.

They swallow reflexively and much less stress.

The only downside is you have to get up in the night to do it

scaredsadandstuck · 10/02/2022 20:16

It sounds like you've had a very stressful week OP

While it's not ideal, it's not the end of the world. I've definitely lost it with my two when they were 3 year olds. It's quite a tough age!! Anyway, it's done. She'll be fine and probably won't even remember. Please try to be kind to yourself.

Oh and if you haven't tried already, I used to put antibiotics into really awful sweet tacky kids fromage frais and stir it right in. As long as they eat the bulk of the yogurt you're all good.

mushforbrain · 10/02/2022 20:17

It’s v stressful when your poorly child won’t do the thing that will make them less poorly

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Ciderisrosier · 10/02/2022 20:19

Putting it in a bit of yoghurt is how I used to do it too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You understand why she needs them she doesn’t have a clue which is even more frustrating when they refuse. Hope she’s feeling better soon

Hollyhead · 10/02/2022 20:20

Mix in with toffee yoghurt always did the trick for us.

INeedNewShoes · 10/02/2022 20:22

Most parents here will read this and think ‘yep, it’s happened here’.

I lost it with DD once and shouted at her for refusing to do a PCR.

It’s absolutely horrible when they won’t cooperate with something that’s necessary. It’s incredibly stressful and when you’ve tried every possible nice way sometimes patience wears thin and frustration at the situation comes out.

Cuddles and an apology.

I’m afraid I have no suggestions. At 3, my DD didn’t respond to bribery which is what most people suggested.

You could try given the medicine while she’s asleep.

But most of all, please forgive yourself and if the situation starts getting to boiling point again, walk away and leave it for a while.

3luckystars · 10/02/2022 20:22

I would switch back to the new antibiotics. The old ones are not working and will not work.

If you get orange juice, she can wash down the antibiotics with that if she is old enough to bargain with. If not then you just have to stay calm and use the syringe.

My son had constant antibiotics for tonsillitis and eventually got Zithromax (once a day for 3 days) and never got it again.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/02/2022 20:26

I’m afraid when my dd was little it took 2 of us. One to hold her still, the other to hold her mouth open and squeeze it in.

The trick is to get her mouth closed asap. It wasn’t totally successful. You could try wrapping her in a blanket too

Blueberryflavour · 10/02/2022 20:27

Try bribery, every dose she takes gets a reward. Get her to help you make up a colourful reward chart. What would motivate her? A sticker, a new hair bobble, some other small treat for every dose or for each day she takes all the medicine without making a fuss she gets a slightly bigger treat new pack crayons, extra TV time, an extra story at bedtime whatever would work for her?

Kittykat93 · 10/02/2022 20:28

If you have to hide it in chocolate mousse to get her to take it just do that. Poor wee soul is probably feeling rubbish, she's not refusing them to be naughty, she's 3 and doesn't understand. I've never really shouted at my son it doesn't get anywhere, I'm far from perfect don't get me wrong - but it's just not something I do.

Heronwatcher · 10/02/2022 20:29

It’s very stressful so don’t beat yourself up. One question- have you tasted the antibiotics yourself? Once my DD was refusing them and I told her off and then “demonstrated”- I was almost sick! It was completely undrinkable. I think these days most have the sugar removed, which is so bloody stupid when they are only given infrequently and to young kids. You could try asking your Doctor or the pharmacist if there is one which could be prescribed with sugar in it?

darlingsweetpea · 10/02/2022 20:31

Can you say it's a magic liquid and build excitement? It's probably a ridiculous idea but maybe worth a try.

cansu · 10/02/2022 20:33

Put it in yoghurt or fruit. I used to use those little fruit puree pots.

WorriedGiraffe · 10/02/2022 20:34

When my DS was around this age he was prescribed the worst tasting antibiotic ever and point blank refused to take it, but the doctor warned it was that or IV in hospital (bad pussy wound on skin). Basically one of us would have to sit him on our knee and wrap a towel round him like a swaddle and sort of cuddle him from behind, the other got the medicine and brightest sweets and forced him to take the medicine and then shoved the sweet in straight after. After a few tries he still needed the towel technique but accepted his fate because of the sweet.

Probably sounds brutal it wasn’t though I promise, and it was the doctors recommendation. You have my sympathies OP!

Suzi888 · 10/02/2022 20:35

I would just apologise, say sorry. It’s done now, you have to let it go.
Can you bargain with anything?

DD had to take medication once and the hospital staff showed me how to safely, wrap one leg around her, trap her arms with the other (kind of) to free both my arms and literally just get on with administering the meds as quickly as possible. Lots of cuddles after, but it was awful.

Forshorttheycallmecomp · 10/02/2022 20:38

My 3 yo has covid at the moment which has screwed up her tastebuds so she is refusing calpol for being yukky, despite having a temperature and a sore head. You have my immense sympathies (I got them into her as she was just about asleep, but none of the other tricks worked…)

SheWoreYellow · 10/02/2022 20:41

It’s not flucloxacillin is it? If so you need more than yoghurt. Hopefully it’s not.

BergamotandLime · 10/02/2022 20:41

I just came on here to suggest what @WorriedGiraffe has - DD had kidney infection/sepsis and then scarlet fever when she was 3. The towel trick works a treat. Don't beat yourself up about losing it. You've had a tough week and you're worried.

didihearthatright123456 · 10/02/2022 20:44

I’m afraid I’m in the camp of if bribery won’t work then I do wrap her in a towel and with my husband use a syringe inserted into the side of her mouth and then try to close it very quickly. Doesn’t always work and hate doing it but hate seeing them poorly even more

changenametimeagain · 10/02/2022 21:00

We hid meds in Ella's fruit pouches (have a bit out of it first then syringe meds in and shake well) but now bribe (DC nearly 3.5).

Mainly came here to say I also lost it with my 3yo earlier for not bloody listening to me and hiding in washing baskets and all sorts rather than getting in the shower. I felt like such a bad mum but apologised and she was fine. This happens, we can't be perfect all the time

waitinginthecar · 10/02/2022 21:06

You need to apologise and acknowledge that you shouldn't have shouted at her. Tell her you're not cross at her but at the germs making her feel poorly. You are the adult and should know to remove yourself from the situation before you lose your shit with the wee child and scare her.

irene9 · 10/02/2022 21:07

Can you buy a tub of special ice cream and she gets a spoon of that afterwards.
Sorry to say getting annoyed only makes it worse. She wants control so give her a choice what to get a spoon of to eat afterwards like the choc or the vanilla ice cream?
It's the lack of control making her dig the heels in.

feministqueen · 10/02/2022 21:09

Hugs @mylittlemonkys You're not the only one to lose it with a LO. I really shouted at my very defiant 4yo yesterday. Everything is a battle at the moment and I am over it.

Deep breaths.

Ozanj · 10/02/2022 21:13

My son refuses antibiotics too. I just force him. One of you hold her firmly on your lap and then as the other feeds the antibiotics you hold the nose firmly, empty the spoon / syringe in the mouth quickly, then hold the mouth closed. Then give her lots of cuddles afterwards. I know it’s tough but Keep remembering that a drip will be much, much harder for her to cope with (I’ve seen kids accidentally rip ivs out of their veins )

Houseofvelour · 10/02/2022 21:16

Don't beat yourself up.
I did the exact same when my dd was extremely unwell with a UTI and refused antibiotics. I had called the gp and pharmacist for advice but they basically said "just keep trying". I was so scared she was going to end up in hospital on an IV that I too started shouting and lost it.
I felt awful and so guilty but it was out of sheer frustration and worry about her.

You love your dd so much and so desperately want to get better so I understand exactly why you lost it.
Tomorrow apologise and explain that you love her and just want her to get better but that will only happen if she takes her medicine.
You've got this xx

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